I get a text today. It’s from my good friend Kay. It says “Let’s to go P.F. Chang’s and a Movie tonight“.
Not allowing my Paruresis to handcuff me anymore than it does, I quickly text back “Sure“.
That’s when the anxiety sets in!
I just committed myself to an all night outing on the other side of town (45 minutes from home).
I try not to think about it, but already I’m thinking “Hopefully I can pee before the movie“.
I still have 4 hours left to work and 4 hours to think about when I’m going to pee, how I’m going to pee and if I’m going to pee.
I stand there for a moment thinking how cool it would be to just think about eating and enjoying the movie without being preoccupied about any bathroom visits.
Must be nice!
I meet Kay at the restaurant at 5:30. She says she wants to see the Hunger Games and it starts at 7:10.
No problem! I’ve heard a lot about the movie and it sounds like a good choice.
“It’s a 2 1/2 hour Movie” she says…
I feel my heart sink further…
“Great!” It’s already a LONGGGG Night, now it just got longer.
I feel my anxiety rise another level or two.
After we eat (I drink as little as possible), we head to the theater. I buy the tickets as she’s getting in line for popcorn. I (like always), tell her what to get me, give her some money, and bolt to the nearest bathroom. This is my only chance to pee before the show.
I wonder what she thinks because I always do this. She’s never brought it up before, but I’m sure she notices it.
I walk into the bathroom and quickly eye the stalls. There are 2 stalls and 2 urinals opposite them. The last stall door is closed all the way, so I grab the first one.
I step in, close the door behind me and carefully and quietly peer under the partition to see if someone is in the next stall. I can’t tell, but I think I’m alone.
And as I stand back up, I see my stall door is opening…
It didn’t close all the way, so if someone were to walk in right then and see me bent over in the stall, I would be mortified!
I lock the door and try to pee. And what’s funny is the fact that it doesn’t take me very long to start. I’m sure this is because I was alone in the bathroom, but not for long…
I start to pee, and as I’m peeing directly into the toilet bowl, I hear footsteps coming in…
There is no door to the john, just a really long hallway coming in.
Normally, this is the exact moment that my urine would shut off. My stream would freeze up as soon as someone entered…
Tonight, it hesitated, spurted, then resumed. I kept peeing!
I didn’t pee full force, but I did manage to keep the flow going. I could hear the guy shuffling at the urinal behind me.
Then another guy enters. I hear movement on the other side of my stall…
I kept peeing slowly.
The guy enters the stall next to mine.
My pee stops for a second, then slowly keeps going…
The guy messes with his belt and I’m thinking “Oh NO, he’s taking a shit!“
But he just stood there and peed…
It ran through my mind that this might be another Paruretic. ???
I hear more movement in the bathroom. WTF?
I can’t tell if the one guy at the urinal was leaving, or another one was coming in.
I kept peeing.
It was coming out so slowly, but my bladder was getting empty, so I just stood there and waited.
I was bound and determined to stand there as long as I need to, to finish the job.
After all, it was a long movie…
I peed and peed and peed.
The guy in the stall next to me flushed and left.
More commotion outside and another guy entered the stall seconds later.
I was having a hard time keeping track of who was where.
I could hear more movement, a urinal flush, the spray of water in the sink, more footsteps…
The new guy in the stall next to me didn’t even close his stall door. He just started peeing like he had no care in the world.
I stood there for a little while longer after I finished, just to make sure I got it all out.
My anxiety tends to fool me into thinking I’m done, when it’s not.
Finally satisfied that I was done, I felt relieved and ready for the movie.
I was able to pee with all these guys coming and going.
Success! How awesome is that?
I flushed, zipped up and opened the stall door and what do I see?
A BATHROOM FULL OF GUYS!
There is one guy leaning and waiting outside of my stall. A line of guys is behind him, all watching, all waiting for a stall or urinal to open up.
Apparently I timed it just right, it seems like a movie just let out.
If this line would have been there as I approached the john, I would have never been able to go.
I got lucky!
I peed in a bathroom, under conditions that I normally wouldn’t have been able to pee under.
I was a happy camper
Peeing before the movie allowed me to enjoy the Hunger Games and to not dread my screaming bladder.
It may have taken me forever to pee (really only minutes), Kay was still up at the counter getting popcorn. I created a line in the Men’s Room, but hey, guess what? I peed in a bathroom with guys still in the room. I peed loudly in the toilet at the same time. With guys even in the stall directly next to me. And with someone leaning on my Stall door…
That’s huge progress for me!
I feel good about tonight, and the movie was excellent!
So all in all, I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome…
Other than paying $25 for 2 popcorns and 2 drinks! :)