So me and my roommate Mike (who’s also my Pee Buddy) decide to eat wings at the local bar up the street.
We had been there a couple of weeks ago, and I had planned on going to the bathroom to desensitize, but the bar was packed and the hallways was busy and I chickened out. I didn’t go. (Read: Paruresis = 1, Recovery = 0)
Tonight, I did NOT want to repeat that failure and avoidance.
So an hour before we leave, I chugged two 16 oz. bottles of water.
I wanted to Guarantee Success!
And then about 5 minutes before we left, I also downed an entire can of pop (pop seems to flow right through me).
We get to the bar 2 minutes later (it’s literally one block away) and what’s the first thing I notice?
The parking lot is packed!
There’s not even a place to park.
We literally had to wait until someone left just so we could grab a spot.
WOW, what am I in for?
I started feeling really scared. The longer we waited, the more my heart sank. It probably only took 2 minutes, but as any Paruretic knows, 2 minutes seems like forever! Especially since I had to pee…
I pictured wall to wall people, a crammed entrance, and certainly a very busy bathroom.
We head in. Surprise surprise, there’s only 2 people waiting for a table. The entrance and hallway were empty.
So as soon as we go in, I don’t hesitate, I head down the hall to the men’s bathroom.
I have no idea what to expect. I asked Mike what it was like in there, and he honestly couldn’t remember.
Big help he is…
I push on the door and see the urinal immediately. It’s right next to the door (inch away) with only a slight divider. The bathroom is small! Very small. One guy is standing at the sink washing up, and he glances at me in the mirror. I avoid his gaze. I turn towards the urinal…
THE ONE AND ONLY URINAL!
And I see that directly next to that is one small stall (cramped quarters). Talk about tiny. I had no idea the bathroom would be this claustrophobic. I do believe it’s the smallest bathroom I’ve ever been in. Barely able to hold 3 people…
And as I walk in, I see that the urinal is still flushing. He must have just wizzed. It would have been awkward if I would have walked in on that. Him wizzing and I’d have to either wait behind him, or use the stall (and I didn’t want to do that).
So I step up to the urinal (What am I doing? – Can I really do this?) and unzip. I had a high urgency to pee, but this is crazy!!!
Not what I Expected!
The sink guy is just 2 feet away from me and the door is on my right. So anyone coming into the john will literally be facing me and seeing me pee. That was a little nerve wracking to say the least!
I hold my breath, try to relax, and try to apply slight pressure downwards to pee.
The sink guy stands there for a moment longer and then leaves. But I swear as he left he glanced over at me on the way out…
10 seconds later, I was peeing!
And I peed for a good couple of minutes, and thankfully, not one other guy came in.
Who knows what would have happened then? I probably would have locked up, but never mind, I didn’t… So put it out of your mind! Why think about failing when you’re having success stupid? And I did. I was able to pee, finish, wash and leave.
I go out, we get seated, eat (awesome fried spicy cheese balls) and drink plenty more.
And by the time we finished, an hour later, I could tell that I needed to pee again.
Now, I had 2 choices:
- Pee again here
- Pee at home (in 2 minutes)
So what do I choose?
I went for broke and peed there!
I went back into the scary bathroom on the way out and stepped up to that single urinal.
I’m nervous about some guy bolting in needing to urinate…
But I hold my breath once more!
15 seconds later, I hear a noise in the stall.
Some guy was in there finishing up. He comes out and washes his hands. I had no idea someone else was in there. I’m still holding my breath. He washes, and as he’s washing I start to pee!
He dries his hands and he walks out the door. And yes, it must be because the door opens into the wall and you have to walk around it, but when you do you automatically turn towards the urinal and the pee’er as you pass… Because he turned my way on the way out, just like the previous guy. Sheesh!
I kept on peeing until I was finished!
What a crazy restroom. And to think that if someone would have entered in the beginning, they would have just stood there awkwardly because the urinal and stall were full…
That would have been a real challenge.
I’m happy that I made it through this tough scenario (Macho Sports Bar). I peed twice in a new bathroom, a small bathroom, one that I’ve never been in before.
I’m very proud of myself!
Bathrooms like this are difficult. But, I’m tackling them one by one.
Now, if I can just keep doing what I’m doing, then I’ll be a happy camper for sure.
Bar = 0, Richard = 2