My friend Kay calls me this morning.
“Want to go to a Hockey Game Sunday?”
I pause for just a brief second and say “SURE!”
The bathrooms at a Hockey Game will be very busy! And while they normally would intimidate me and scare the shit out of me, I’m actually looking forward to them.
What a great way to Desensitize!
I actually believe that they’ll be easier to pee in than the Theater. Where’s my logic coming from? Let me explain…
In the Theater you have time constraints. You have to either pee before the show, during the show, or after the show. And that 15 minute intermission is quite busy, there’s normally a long line…
Plus, if you try to go during the show, you have to stand up in the dark, block everyone behind you, push your way out of the isle “Excuse Me” “Pardon Me” “I’m Sorry“… Everyone knows you’re leaving (and a pain in the ass). Everyone sees that you’re going pee! (and they know how long you’ve been gone)
And then, to get back to your seat, an usher with a flashlight has to lead you back, interrupt everyone in your row, make them stand… distract the entire theater just so you could “Try to Pee“.
But, when you’re at a Hockey Game, things are so much different. You can just go pee anytime you want. No one is watching. No one cares. People are up and moving the entire time. It’s no big deal!
So even though the bathroom will be busier, and there may be guys waiting… There are more bathrooms (the Theater just has one), and the turn over is FAST!
No one will notice me. No one will see me or even know I was there.
And if I have to try again in a few minutes, it won’t cause a commotion and I’ll be able to pee in peace.
Or So I Think!
So I do believe I will be successful!
Just like today’s Urinal Visit…
I don’t pee an hour before we left. I drink half the water, and then I take the rest of the bottle with me to drink on the way.
We are heading to Costco for groceries (restocking after our Vegas Trip – which was monumental).
By the time we get there, my water is gone, but weirdly, the urge to pee isn’t strong. Why is this? I know I COULD go, but it’s not DYING to go.
So we shop first.
1/2 hour later, as we’re checking out, I head to the bathroom.
As I walk in, some guy is drying his hands. He looks at me. I ignore him and turn towards the 3 urinals. Some other guy is standing in the center urinal.
I step up to the first urinal, hold my breath, and I can see, even though I’m looking straight ahead, he turns and looks at me.
And it wasn’t just a quick glance sideways, it was like a good 2-3 seconds of checking me out…
I don’t look at him back, but I am thinking to myself “REALLY DUDE ???“
He finally faces forward again, and within 10 more seconds he was finished and moved off towards the sinks. “See Ya Jerk!”
I just stand there locked up. But I am still holding my breath. Sometimes those 40 seconds seem like forever.
As he’s drying his hands…
I finally start to Pee!
And this time, as I start, I keep holding my breath longer. I’ve had problems in the past where my urine locks up after Breath Hold, and I believe it’s because I didn’t hold it long enough (I think I read that somewhere).
So I hold it about 10 seconds longer… And as I pee, I could feel the stream weaken (right where it would normally freeze up again), but because I continued to hold my breath, it fought the contraction and kept the flow going. It didn’t stop!
Once it finally started to come out in a full stream, I slowly and carefully inhaled again. I took small, gradual breaths to calm my body and screaming lungs. Plus, I didn’t want to gasp and be obvious!
And I Peed!
I have to give it up to Breath Hold. For if you hold your breath long enough, it will and DOES work!
Pretty much 100% of the time!
And if I can continue to hold it, to exhaust all of the oxygen in my Sphincter muscle, then it has no choice but to open the dam and let the urine flow!
Flow until my Bladder is Empty!
This is what I’ll keep practicing this week. This is what I’ll be doing at the Hockey Game Sunday.
This will be my Goal!