We get to the Theater tonight 1/2 hour before the performance.
4 of my friends are already there, and there’s 2 more on the way (they don’t show up until 1 minute before curtain, nice going guys…).
So my goal tonight was to walk into that bathroom. I’ve come to this Theater probably 40 times in the last 10 years, and I’ve never once stepped foot in that John.
I told myself that I was going to do it, and it almost didn’t happen…
My Paruresis was on high alert!
The Theater was packed. The Bathrooms were busy. Always a steady flow of guys coming and going…
At 6:45, Mike excuses himself to pee. I almost followed him, but I couldn’t…
Jeff was there!
Jeff is a Big, Macho, He-Man Guy. He can be pretty Intimidating. I’ve known him for about 7 years, and he’s a nice guy, but I don’t feel totally comfortable around him (he’s dating Christine).
And there he was. Drinking beer next to her.
And the reason I didn’t excuse myself to go to the bathroom, is because I feared that he would hear me and say he should go as well. After all, the show would start soon, it’s either Pee Now or Never!
So I waited to see if he would Pee first. Then I would go AFTER him. I waited and waited. I didn’t want him in there with me. He would probably want to chat! And we all know, you can’t do that AND Breath Hold at the same time!
So I Waited!
I know he WILL go before the show, it’s just a matter of WHEN!
And that’s just about the time that Jeff said he was going out for a Smoke (Smoke and Pee is more like it).
I had time to make my move.
I told the girls that I was going to the restroom. I excuse myself and head towards the door. I can see guys all around the entrance. In fact, I have to maneuver through them to get to the door.
I Head In
There are sinks on the right side of the wall. 3 or 4 guys are washing up. To the left are about 15-20 urinals… with NO dividers! (and about 5 guys Peeing)
As I head towards the end of them, I see Mike in there. He was finishing drying his hands and he glanced at me as I walked by. His eyebrows raised and he gave me a little smirk. I tried not to smile back. He’s surprised that I’m desensitizing in here (so am I).
I walk up to the 2nd to the last urinal, unzip and stand there. I had no urge to Pee since I Peed before we left, so I wasn’t worried in the least about going or not.
But I decided to test my Breath Hold anyway. I wanted to see if I could force some Pee out.
I Hold my Breath and Relax
40 Seconds later, I’m Peeing!
I didn’t Pee much, for as soon as I began to breath again my bladder locked up. But I did Pee some.
I Peed in a Theater Bathroom!
I was happy about that.
I went back to my seat, enjoyed the show and loved it.
And once I got home tonight, I talked with Mike about the experience.
I told him I believe it cuts off because I’m breathing in too quickly.
I tell him I need to practice more on holding my breath longer. Maybe another 10-15 seconds or so. That might keep my Sphincter from locking up?
So that’s my Goal for this Week!
I’ve got it down where I can Pee with Breath Hold. Now I just need to maintain the stream.
And if I can do that…
Then Paruresis will be NO MORE!
I feel like I’m very, very close to mastering this method.
Let’s see what this next week will bring me. :)