I am fully aware of the fact that to overcome your fears, you need to face them.
One of my biggest fears is stepping foot in any public bathroom (even if I know they have a single user bathroom).
I loathe them!
I do everything I can to avoid them. I tell myself that I don’t need to go that badly. I say I can hold it no problem. It’s just a little uncomfortable, right? I can deal with it!
I know that this is my Paruresis talking.
I know it wants to take the easy route and just make excuses instead of doing the uncomfortable thing and stepping into the restroom.
Anything but THAT!
The only way that I’ll become comfortable with bathrooms, is to allow myself to go in them… Over and over again!
Once you do this, time and time again, you’ll see that there is nothing to fear.
It’s just a silly bathroom meant for emptying your bladder. It’s no big deal.
As soon as the urge hits you, make a stand. Get up and go to the john. Really! Just get up and GO!
That way you aren’t thinking about it any longer than you should. You aren’t wondering if the bathroom is full, or if the stalls are occupied or that someone will see you. You just get up and head in.
Walk into the bathroom and face your fears.
Sure you may still NOT pee. You may stand there frozen at the urinal or toilet for minutes and not ever spill a drop. But the fear of avoidance is gone. Broken! You’re already there. Now you have different things to deal with, but being scared and avoiding it is behind you.
If you face it early on, as soon as the urge begins, you’ll have much better odds of actually going because your bladder isn’t stretched out and screaming.
So GO to the bathroom. Don’t sit in the chair glued like a piece of furniture. Quit thinking about it. Just go!
You MUST put yourself into that position and face your discomfort.
I know it’s so easy just to sit there and enjoy the food, the drinks, the friends… But you’ll NEVER get better, you’ll never be able to go in public unless you tackle this first crucial step: Walk into the bathroom no matter what! That’s the first step to recovery. You know it, I know it. You can’t hide from it anymore.
Paruresis IS avoidance (and you’re good at that)
Look at it this way: If you remain in your seat and never attempt to go, you will hold it all night long until you can pee in the safety of your own bathroom…
If you actually get up to go and stand there in the bathroom (seeing it’s not such a terrible place to be) and you STILL don’t go, you’re not in any different or worse situation.
You can’t go either way.
BUT, you have broken down half of your Paruresis. You have faced avoidance and that’s a huge stepping stone.
YOU MUST DO IT!
Sooner or later, you will be able to feel more comfortable walking into bathrooms. And eventually you’ll be at ease enough with them to allow yourself to pee.
You know this to be true.
It IS true!
It’s facing your fears!
Take a stand Richard! If you want to get your life back and stop feeling so beat up and handcuffed, then you MUST do what you don’t want to do. You MUST step into the bathrooms!
Isn’t it about time you stopped avoiding this?