2013 is OVER!
I’m happy about that. But now, 2014 begins, and so does the FUN!
I Face My Demons!
It’s funny because everything I see and hear reminds me once again that I’m a Paruretic and that I live in a Shy World.
As the New Year grew close, all my friends gather around the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square.
Everyone is Cheering, Clapping, Laughing, Toasting… And I couldn’t ask for more.
As we’re watching all the celebration in New York, Kay says “We should all go there one year!“
Of course, everyone chimes in “YEAH! That would be FUN! Let’s Do it!“
Me though, I’m quiet. I’m looking at the crowd on the streets, all shoulder to shoulder, all huddled and crammed like sardines. And all I could think about was:
“Where do they Pee?”
It’s such a stupid thing to obsess about, but surely with thousands of people there’s got to be a place or two.
I picture huge lines of loud drunk people waiting, watching, looking over your shoulder, urging you to “Hurry Up, I gotta Pee!“
I see all of this and I think “I couldn’t do that!“
Too many People. Too much Pressure. Too much Uncertainty. Too far away from Home…
Maybe One Day… ???
And then, as the Year 2013 slips by and as we scream out the New Year, a new realization draws over me.
This is the Year I Beat Paruresis!
This year is going to be a much different year than previous years.
This Year I Pee!
And then I think of my Goals and the Public Bathrooms, Water Loading, NOT peeing before I leave the House… And I say to myself:
“Can I Really Do This?”
It’s no longer a “Future Goal” of mine. It’s not something set “Next Year“. It’s HERE! It’s PRESENT! It’s NOW!
I actually have to fulfill my goals and leave this house with a full bladder and a beating heart…
So even though I’m happy for the New Year, I’m also scared to death. I now have to accomplish these goals. I MUST see them through.
Focus Richard Focus!
I must keep moving forward. I must keep my eyes on the goal:
To Overcome Paruresis!
It shall be tough. I’ll hate it every step of the way.
But if I can eventually look back at this day, and say “That’s the Day that changed my Life!“, then it’s worth every uncomfortable moment.
Today I Start Living!
2014 is MY Year!
I won’t look back.
I won’t Fail!
Just you wait and see…