I Fluid Load today with one can of pop, and 2 bottles of water, and then 1/2 hour later, I’m off to Target.
This Target is a different Target than I normally go to. I’m unfamiliar with the bathroom there and don’t know what to expect.
I find out soon enough!
By the time I get there, I need to pee!
I walk in, turn right and head down the narrow hallway.
On the way I pass 2 girls. They look at me and I kind of half smile politely back.
I pass the Ladies Room, and see the Men’s, the last door on the left.
I’m the only one in here. This Target has 2 urinals, one tall, one small…
I step up to the short one (because I hate them), and try to relax. I’m a little nervous in here because it’s so damn quiet.
I can almost hear my heart beating. I exhale slowly and hold my breath…
Finally around 30 seconds, I start to pee.
It begins shakily at first, but then picks up steam and a strong flow comes out.
I relax more and breath normally!
I peed for a while, it seemed like it would never end.
I could hear voices in the hall and thought for sure a guy would walk in, but no one did.
I peed in solitude, washed and left.
Target Practice Done!
I ran another short errand, and then made my final pit stop at Krogers.
I only needed a couple of things, but decided I would pee once more while I was there.
The last time I peed here, it was crazy because someone was at the 1 and only urinal there. I had to take the stall…
But today, as I go in, I’m the only one in here.
This Urinal is mine! :)
I step up, unzip, hold my breath and wait.
I’m nervous because it’s such a small quiet bathroom. 1 urinal, 1 stall, that’s it.
It wouldn’t take much to have 2 guys walk in and suddenly the place is full and one of them would be waiting, staring directly at me… There really is no where else to look. HA!
I put it out of my mind and just think about peeing.
I began to pee after 20 seconds!
Sweet! I’m peeing at Krogers!
I peed and I peed, and boy did I feel good.
And then, right as I was finishing up, the door opens and some young guy walks in (Bright Neon Yellow Tennis Shoes). He comes in, didn’t hesitate, and just went into the stall and latched the door (the sound of the latch was fumbling, loud and distracting!)
He began to pee in seconds. It was very loud and very fast in the toilet!
I flush and leave!
I was happy. 2 NEW bathroom experiences. 2 More success stories!
I feel really good with where I am and where I’m going with my Paruresis Recovery.
It’s not perfect…
I know I have plenty of ups and downs, but right now, this feels right.
It feels good!
It feels like I’m making progress little by little.
One day, I may not have to worry about who’s in the bathroom, or if I’m going to pee…
One day it will seem second nature.
And that day, sounds great to me! :)