I was in the Boy Scouts when I was a kid. I liked the Boy Scouts, we did a lot of fun things, I learned a lot.
But, I have a secret to tell:
I was also in the Girl Scouts!
Granted, I wasn’t actually a Girl Scout, but I had to go to Girl Scouts because my Mom was a Girl Scout Leader.
My Mom, and her best friend were both Girl Scout leaders. Her best friend had 3 Daughters, and I have one Sister. All 4 girls were best friends!
So all through my childhood it was those 4 girls, my Mom, her Best Friend, and ME!
I had to tag along.
I didn’t have a choice.
I was too young to be by myself, and Dad worked day shift, so I was the lucky boy, the ONLY boy who had to go to Girl Scouts.
I HATED IT!
Hated being around all those girls. They had cooties! lol
My Sister and her friends always made fun of me. I got picked on because I was younger and a nerd.
I even looked like a nerd because of the clothes Mom would buy for us (Garage Sale Junk)… GOD AWFUL TURTLENECKS!
I was super skinny and had large buck teeth. And, as my Sister would say “Huge Dumbo Ears!“
I can still hear them laughing now.
So of course, when I got in trouble, or the girls would purposefully get me in trouble “He’s hitting me!“, I would get yelled at and spanked (back when spankings was a normal thing) in front of all the troop (laughing their heads off).
I was constantly humiliated!
I never felt like a man. Always felt like the punch line of a joke.
Boy Scouts was cool. I felt like I fit in. We made fire, collected rocks, won awards, went hiking, canoeing… Boy stuff.
But in Girl Scouts, they sang, cooked, made crafty dumb things with string and paint. BLAH!
I really disliked Girl Scouts (except for the Cookies).
The only time that I was finally free from all of this mess was when my Mom left us and got a divorce. I no longer had to do girl things.
I also never went to Boy Scouts again either (BOO). I was 13 and now had to do all the chores, house cleaning (no girly stuff eh?), as well as tend to all the farm and animals. I had to do it all.
I sometimes think my current social condition was caused by all those taunting little girls.
I was never good enough, tall enough, old enough… I was always the puny runt who got picked on and scolded.
The Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are a thing of the past. But somethings linger on… There’s only so much you can take before it sinks in and affects your whole life.
Is this what started my Paruresis?
I may never know!