Wow! I’ve been doing desensitization with my Pee Buddy for 2 Months now.
2 Whole Months!
Mike stands next to me as I Pee, and even though it’s easier than it used to be, I can tell that I’m still bashful about it.
It takes me longer to Pee, even when I really have to go.
I Pee! I Do! But many times I feel that I need to Pee again shortly afterwards, like I didn’t get it all out the first time.
I also know that if he’s looking down, it still bugs me. I have to try to put it out of my mind and concentrate more on peeing. It’s tough to keep my brain from thinking such stupid things as “He’s Staring at my Dick!“
Why do we Think that way?
It’s Completely Ludicrous!
I still find myself dehydrating before I go out for the night. I still find myself staring at the bathrooms in my usual nervous anxiousness.
I’m even awkward on those days that I have to excuse myself, like at a restaurant, to go to the restroom. I feel like my friends stop and are suddenly staring at me and thinking “He’s going to the BATHROOM? Hey, Everybody LOOK! He’s going to PEE!“
I’ve been working on it though. Slowly but surely. This week I’ve been in 2 public bathrooms already, I only need one more to meet my goals.
The First Bathroom
The first bathroom was on Sunday at Costco. And it was B U S Y ! ! !
There were guys every where. 2 at the urinals, 3 at the sinks, one drying, one in the stall, and even an employee cleaning up (with a bright blue shirt on that was distracting).
I mosied on up to the 1st urinal, unzipped, and stood there (I didn’t have to pee).
The guy next to me finishes and heads to the sink. Another guy steps up 20 seconds later and he pees really, really fast. He’s done and GONE! Outta there!
I can see the employee in blue out of the corner of my eye, he’s just a blue blur moving back and forth. He’s in the stall, at the sink, at the trash bin…
Lots of Noise, People Moving, Water Running, Dryers…
It’s like Central Station!
The stall clears out. The blue boy leaves. Now there’s just 3 left, me, some guy at urinal #3, someone at the sink… And I’m not peeing, just soaking in the chaos and atmosphere.
Someone else enters and steps up to the center urinal. Someone else leaves.
Blue Boy is back and I have no idea what he’s doing…
Finally, I step back, wash and leave.
That was a crazy ordeal. So much Commotion, so much Noise, Disorder, Sensory Overload…
And then I think…
Did anyone notice little ole me? Did anyone see I wasn’t peeing?
Nope! Not in the least!
My second trip this week, was at my favorite restaurant on Christmas Eve (FILET – Medium Rare to die for!) Every year I go with my Friends and we have a blast (remember my Merry Christmas Anxiety Post Years Ago?). This year is no different.
We all get seated at a table by the fireplace (AWESOME), but what was interesting, and I didn’t plan this, but my seat was at the end and it directly faced the hallway with the bathrooms. I could literally see every guy coming and going all night. Even if I didn’t want to see it, it was hard not to. It was in my face.
Most guys only use the bathroom once, maybe twice in a given evening. I did see one elderly gentleman use the bathroom 3 times… But I also saw a young guy use the bathroom three times. He stood out because he was wearing a bright peach shirt on. I saw him go into the john 3 times in just 2 hours. That’s a lot! I’d say he was probably 20 years old, and I wouldn’t have noticed as much, but that shirt really grabbed your eye.
You couldn’t NOT see him!
I figure he’s either drinking a LOT, or he’s got some peeing issues. I know I’ve certainly gone to the bathroom a couple of times just waiting for the right opportunity to pee.
He could be Paruretic?
After sitting there for a while, and after all my friends had been up to pee, I finally made my move towards the end of the night.
When I stood to go, I didn’t look at Mike because I didn’t want to see it in his eyes “You’re going to try to pee here?“
I head into the bathroom (no, the guy with the peach shirt was not in there at the time), and I see 2 people. One at the first urinal, one at the sink.
I step up to the 3rd and last urinal
Just as I step up, the first urinal finishes and he goes to the sink.
And of course, the entire 3 minutes that I’m in there, no one else enters and no one else comes to pee. Just me!
See, if I was a normal guy who could pee with no problems, I’d be able to pee and get out and never have to deal with another man…
So there you go. 2 Bathrooms so far and only one to go.
I’m sure I’ll hit that bathroom Tomorrow.
What will I experience?
You just never know!