A Rough Week

This week has been Murder on me!

I pulled a muscle in my back on Wednesday and it pretty much laid me up all week.

That Sucks!

I went out on Monday, Peed Twice at Costco, then I haven’t Peed in Public since!

I never expected to be laying in bed, it hurts to even sit at my computer. I’m not very happy about that! But there’s not much I can really do about it, except heal.

I told Mike that I was sad because this is the first week this whole year that I haven’t successfully Peed 3 times in Public Bathrooms.

But, the more I think about that, the more I realize that’s wrong anyway.

You see, last year I wasn’t even Peeing in Public at all.

A Rough Paruresis Week

My New Year’s Resolution was still to Desensitize in Bathrooms (enter at least 3 of them), but my Goal was to actually only Pee in ONE of them!

ONE!

So even during my worst week, this week, I was still able to Pee Twice!

So should I be complaining?

No! Not in the Least!

I’d love to Pee at least 3 times in Public a Week. But I have had weeks where I’ve Peed 8 or 10 times successfully, so it all balances out in the end.

Plus, I can’t help that I can barely walk now. I’ve had a bad back my whole life and sometimes it just gives out. Could you see me walking into a Restroom grunting and groaning? Wobbling my way up to a Urinal just to Piss? lol

That’s Not Going To Happen!

What I should do is to revamp my current situation and goals.

Mentally I guess, I’ve switched to Peeing in 3 Public Bathrooms a week. It just happened that way, and now every time I enter a Public Bathroom I’m Peeing, and that I kind of enjoy.

The whole concept of Public Bathrooms is still new to me. Last Year, up until I started to Desensitize (in October), I’d probably stepped foot in maybe 5 Bathrooms the entire year. It was something I just couldn’t do.

So for me to get to the point where I am now, where I can walk into them and Pee at Urinals with other guys around, is beyond all my wildest dreams.

It’s Incredible to Me!

I still Pee with my Pee Buddy at home, although I only make Mike stand there once a day now, versus every single time I pee.

Having someone near me as I urinate doesn’t feel so frightening anymore. I just try to think about other things. I know I still have a long way to go, but I’ve also come a long way.

I’m not worried about the future, I’m looking forward to it.

The future looks bright to me!

And that’s something I couldn’t say a year ago.

So don’t get too down on yourself.

This too will pass! :)

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