This week has been Murder on me!
I pulled a muscle in my back on Wednesday and it pretty much laid me up all week.
I went out on Monday, Peed Twice at Costco, then I haven’t Peed in Public since!
I never expected to be laying in bed, it hurts to even sit at my computer. I’m not very happy about that! But there’s not much I can really do about it, except heal.
I told Mike that I was sad because this is the first week this whole year that I haven’t successfully Peed 3 times in Public Bathrooms.
But, the more I think about that, the more I realize that’s wrong anyway.
You see, last year I wasn’t even Peeing in Public at all.
My New Year’s Resolution was still to Desensitize in Bathrooms (enter at least 3 of them), but my Goal was to actually only Pee in ONE of them!
So even during my worst week, this week, I was still able to Pee Twice!
So should I be complaining?
No! Not in the Least!
I’d love to Pee at least 3 times in Public a Week. But I have had weeks where I’ve Peed 8 or 10 times successfully, so it all balances out in the end.
Plus, I can’t help that I can barely walk now. I’ve had a bad back my whole life and sometimes it just gives out. Could you see me walking into a Restroom grunting and groaning? Wobbling my way up to a Urinal just to Piss? lol
That’s Not Going To Happen!
What I should do is to revamp my current situation and goals.
Mentally I guess, I’ve switched to Peeing in 3 Public Bathrooms a week. It just happened that way, and now every time I enter a Public Bathroom I’m Peeing, and that I kind of enjoy.
The whole concept of Public Bathrooms is still new to me. Last Year, up until I started to Desensitize (in October), I’d probably stepped foot in maybe 5 Bathrooms the entire year. It was something I just couldn’t do.
So for me to get to the point where I am now, where I can walk into them and Pee at Urinals with other guys around, is beyond all my wildest dreams.
It’s Incredible to Me!
I still Pee with my Pee Buddy at home, although I only make Mike stand there once a day now, versus every single time I pee.
Having someone near me as I urinate doesn’t feel so frightening anymore. I just try to think about other things. I know I still have a long way to go, but I’ve also come a long way.
I’m not worried about the future, I’m looking forward to it.
The future looks bright to me!
And that’s something I couldn’t say a year ago.
So don’t get too down on yourself.
This too will pass! :)