If you read my posts on here, you’ll know that my best friend Mike knows about my Paruresis.
I’ve told him that I am Pee Shy and have a very difficult time peeing in public, unlike him, who could pee at the drop of a hat.
He’s been very understanding and knows how sensitive I am about the subject. It’s not easy to discuss. Although he doesn’t know the full extent of my condition (since he can’t fully relate), he does do what he can to help me out and alert me of safe bathrooms when he can.
I thank him for that!
Like for instance, last Saturday. We all meet a bunch of our friends at a Mexican Restaurant for dinner and drinks.
He goes to the bathroom and comes back a minute later. One of our other friends even joked that he was gone for only like 2 seconds. “Gees, what’d you do? Whip it out and splash it all around?“
HA! She was funny. She was even funnier when she make hand motions like a fireman controlling a loose hose… BAH!
He pees fast and loud, that’s just how he goes.
I always wonder if I could use the bathroom at a new restaurant, but am always scared to check them out. You never know what you’ll find.
I’m happy because this night, I didn’t have to go. I had no problems holding it until I got back home.
But in the car I did bring it up. I asked Mike if it was a bathroom I could use…
“NO WAY!” he said quickly. “The bathroom was really small and really dirty and gross“. He went on to say that even though the bathroom was a single user bathroom with a lock on the door, it was a sliding lock that was really loose and the door actually pushed open 3″. WOW! I picture some drunk guy pushing on the door as hard as he could trying to open the stupid thing…
“You would never have been able to go” he said.
I believed him!
I’ve asked him before about a bunch of different bathrooms when we’ve been out. I know he goes and has no problem going under any circumstances. He’s the perfect person to ask.
Like when we flew back from Vegas last month. He told me the bathroom on the plane really sucked.
Since I have my own horrible experiences with plane bathrooms (and told him), I asked him to elaborate.
He said the door was broken, the latch wouldn’t close, and that there was a large gap. (What’s up with Plane Bathrooms now-a-days?) The stewardess told him that he could use it if he liked, but he’d have to hold the door closed. HA!
NICE! I would have died at the thought!
Well he did it. He said that the position you had to get in just to hold the door closed was difficult… but he was still able to pee.
Good for him!
Bad for me!
He’s been a big help in my fear of bathrooms. A little heads up is a life saver. He tells me if I can go or NOT!
And while this system doesn’t remove my fear of actually peeing in public, it does help to calm my racing heart and my rising anxiety level. I am able to concentrate better and sometimes even pee. :)
I’ve been slowly talking to Mike more and more about my Paruresis. Opening up to him, while trying not to overwhelm him since it’s a very delicate subject that’s pretty awkward between 2 grown men.
He’s not as nervous talking about bathrooms and peeing like he used to be. That’s not something people really talk about.
I still remember him saying to me last year (after bringing up the Pee Buddy) “You want me to watch you pee???“
I still think about that. His face said a lot. It scared me to say “YES“.
Will he ever be ready for that?
How does one prepare for such a dreadful encounter?
Right now, I’m taking it step by step and seeing where it takes me.
I know I need to start exposure therapy, that’s where I get a Pee Buddy to help desensitize me.
That will be an interesting day.
Until then, a Thumbs Up or “You could NEVER pee in there” is good enough for me.
It’s better than nothing…