I’ts day 99 in my Pee Shy Recovery!
It’s also Movie Day (Moovies!)
I told Mike that after the Movies, I would go to the men’s room for a little desensitization.
My plan was to use Breath Hold to Pee!
Breath Hold has worked in the past to allow me to Pee in Urinals. So today, I felt good about achieving my goal.
We go with 2 of my other friends to see Jack Ryan (Great Movie).
And after the movie, we are all leaving the Theater and I see the bathrooms on the right.
Everyone is walking by them and I say “I’m going to use the bathroom“, they all stop and wait as I head inside.
When I enter the restroom, I see 3 urinals on the left. The first one is a short kiddie urinal, the last two are regular size. There is a guy planted at urinal #3.
I pause for a second because I so dislike peeing in those short urinals, they always feel so awkward to me, like you have to point and aim downwards to pee…
And even though it is totally against the Guy Code, I passed up the first urinal and stepped up to the center urinal (I know, I know…).
I did that for 2 main reasons:
- I don’t like short urinals
- I really need more practice peeing with strangers directly next to me
So “Sorry Dude!“
I step up to the Urinal, Hold my Breath, and Wait…
All that I can hear is him peeing loudly, plus the occasional grunt and shuffle from some guy in the stall behind us.
He pees and pees. I’m silent. 20 seconds… 30…
I’m looking down and trying to relax my whole body. “Come on Breath Hold!“
40 seconds, 50…
I feel a little anxious with him right next to me. And just as he’s finishing up, I finally start to pee. I pee very slowly, and then I inhale… and of course, my urine locks up again!!!!
It’s probably because either I didn’t have a strong urge to pee, or I didn’t hold my breath long enough (or I’m just to old and you can’t teach me new tricks).
Maybe a little of everything!
I flush, wash and leave.
Holding my breath beyond the peeing point is the hardest part for me. I can get it started, but by then I have to inhale, and it’s gone. Lost! “POOF”
So I know that I’m close to success. I’m right there…
Just a few more Seconds should do it!
All I need to do is to practice more and learn to relax.
I have total faith in myself.