You know you’re still deep in Paruresis when you’re turning down Concerts!
Kay asks me the other day if I want to see one of my favorite bands playing.
I DO! I REALLY, REALLY DO!
The event is an hour drive away, and that adds even more anxiety (2 hours) to an already LONG night!
I mean, you have to drive there, get there probably 20-30 minutes early for seating, see the first band. Have a 1/2 hour intermission where they set up the second band. Watch the real show. Try to get out of the parking lot after the second encore (another hour), and then still have another hour drive home.
And that hour long drive back and forth is saying the weather is good! Bad weather or blizzards could double that time. YUCK!
All of it makes me very anxious just thinking about it.
I know I would probably not be able to pee for 6 hours or more… It would feel like a life time!
I HATE nights like this!
Plus, Concerts are one of my worst fears. Too many people. Too many lines. Too much commotion and bustling and pressure to pee quickly and get out…
It’s all way too much for me!
Kay goes on to say that the first band playing is also one of my other favorite bands…
Sigh. I know. I know (I got the email too). It kills me to NOT see them!
But it also pains me to think of putting myself in that uncomfortable situation. It borders on Panic!
What would I do if I HAD to pee? I wouldn’t be driving. It’s not like I could just leave the venue. I’d be stuck there! That scares me!
So once again, Paruresis rears it’s ugly head and handcuffs me in fear.
I WANT to go to that Concert. I just CAN’T go to that Concert!
If the Concert were in my neck of the woods, it might be more bearable. Knocking a couple of hours off the night would probably sway things. DAMN!
As much as I’d love to say “YES I’LL GO!“, I have to face the facts:
- I am still Pee Shy
- I can’t pee at a Urinal YET
- The Bathrooms will be very BUSY
- I won’t have my Pee Buddy for Support
- I haven’t mastered Breath Hold YET
- Concert crowds terrify me!
It’s a NO GO!
I’m passing on my two favorite bands because I’m too scared to pee in a Public Bathroom. Life just ain’t right!
All I want to do is to enjoy the show. But if I get an urge to pee halfway through, it will make it a very agonizing and miserable night.
So sorry, there’s no clapping for this Paruretic!