Recovery Procrastination

I’ve been looking for a cure for Paruresis (Shy Bladder) for almost 2 years now.

Sadly, I haven’t been looking very hard.

You see, I stopped writing posts for a long time. I gave up doing breath hold practice. I never asked my friend Mike to be my Pee Buddy. I just never took the steps needed to find a cure.

I procrastinated, put it off, and quiet frankly failed!

My road to a cure ended too soon.

Pee Shy Recovery Procrastination

I was going gung-ho and wanted to dominate my fears and tackle this problem from the core, the root of my pain.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard? I tried too fast. And when I didn’t see any immediate results (like Dieting), I surrendered and went back to my old ways.

Back into my shell…

Where I kept Paruresis locked up. Where I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t read about it. I let it fester and become a worse disaster.

It’s taken me a while to begin again. Take the steps needed to move forward towards success. I’ve got a level head once more and am focusing on my blog here. I’m making myself think about my condition. Read about it again. Stir up the old feelings I once had about finding a cure.

I really need to take the next step!

I need to start bathroom exposure practice. I need to ask Mike to help me cope with this battle and to be the support and Pee Buddy that I need.

So How do I do that?

How do I just go up to him and say “Can you help me get over my fear of peeing?

Is that really that simple?

NO! It’s not simple in the least!

Peeing is my ultimate crutch. It overwhelms my thoughts, my actions, my life. To just lay it all out on the line is horrifying!

And what’s funnier is the fact that I know this. I know this is scary and hard and once I do it, it will get easier.

I have to take that leap and just do it!

Do I begin by drinking tons of water that day?

What if he’s busy?

What if he doesn’t want to do it? What if he says “Later“???

Or what if he makes fun of me? Pushes the door open? Laughs?

It makes my heart race thinking about it!

You can’t get any more humble than when you express your true fears, all of them, to your best friend and then ask him to do something awkward and uncomfortable.

Just stand there, don’t do anything. Don’t say anything. Don’t make a sound. Try not to listen

UGH!!!

Is there an easier way to start? How does one plan all of this?

Is it better for me to skip my best friend and find someone else who is Pee Shy like me? That way we can practice together and not feel odd or embarrassed?

Someone that I could openly talk to and admit my deepest fears?

Someone just like me!

It sounds better even just saying it. Maybe that’s been my problem all along? Maybe I’ve had the wrong person in mind?

So how do you find another Paruretic in your area?

The Forums?

If I remember correctly, there are forums (see links on right) that I can post to that will help me connect with someone else, like me, who is looking for a Pee Buddy as well.

I think that’s the ticket here.

I think that’s where I’ll find the help I’m looking for.

I’ll do some more research and see what I find (I’ll let you know).

There’s got to be someone close by that’s looking to cure their Shy Bladder Syndrome!

I just need to find them!

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