Prison and Paruresis

If there’s one thing that scares the crap out of me, it’s prison.

Or, should I say, it’s using the bathroom in prison.

I could never do it.

I don’t see how anyone uses them, let alone people with shy bladder.

The toilet is basically just an open seat in the room. No partitions. No walls. No privacy in the least. Just an open toilet on the cold cement floor. That’s a nightmare!

Prison And Paruresis

You have to use it where anyone walking by could see you, hear you, taunt you.

People across the hall could watch you. Your bunkmate could be 2 feet away when you feel like exploding… They would hear your breathing, grunts, farts…

You don’t even have a second to yourself.

How do they do it?

I’m sure there are tons of guys in prison who are pee shy. How vulnerable they must feel.

I often think of how I’d deal with my condition if I were to ever get locked up (even for just a night).

I’d probably die! I don’t think I’d ever have enough balls or courage to go in front of complete strangers (let alone violent ones) who are looking at you, listening, talking, staring, judging…

It blows my mind to even think about.

I seriously would love to know how one survives this ordeal.

What about the guys who get locked up for a weekend drunken bar fight?

There’s got to be a shy bladder somewhere.

Do they wait until their mate leaves for lunch? The phone?

Do they hold it until the middle of the night and hope they don’t wake anyone?

Do they cover themselves with a blanket so they aren’t so exposed?

How do they react when their cellmate uses the toilet? It’s got to be horrifying!

I don’t get it!

It sounds like the most awkward thing ever.

Do they end up getting cured just because they’re forced to? Especially those in for life… Or does it just kill them? (Which ever comes first?)

If you have no choice but to go, will the bladder finally go?

Could something like this cause years of anxiety to slip away, or does it just make it worse?

Do people with shy bladder get special treatment in there?

I’ve never been to jail or prison, and I’d like to think that I would never be either.

Because it’s not the prison, nor the criminals, not the feeling of despair, loneliness or helplessness that frightens me. It’s the toilets!

My Paruresis already makes me feel like a prisoner. Shackled and locked up. Doing time with my greatest fears.

To be under more pressure, more scrutiny, and less privacy would just send me over the top.

A place worse than any jail cell.

It’s mental HELL!

So here’s hoping that I stay as far away from the courts as possible. But I know with some people, that just didn’t happen.

For whatever reason may be, some Pee Shy Guys (and Gals) are, or have been, locked up and know what I’m talking about.

So let’s clarify!

Speak up in the comments below. Tell your story.

Talk about Paruresis in Prison!

Did Paruresis Vanish?

Or did it lock you up even more?

I’d love to hear from you.

Confess, will you?

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10 Responses to Prison and Paruresis

  1. Greg says:

    Well since there is no help for paruresis or good advice. I always felt real freedom I know longer listen to anything after over 40 years an getting banned from the IPA I feel real special. Want a great time you go to the library or book store an find nothing. Then your to scared to pee our tell your friends. I don’t really believe this I would be more than willing to put my face on a billboard and say this is guy is pee shy so what! Did it help? If someone had a cold or cancer would matter if every one knew? I done the treatments an there not working. Like everything else the cure was put in the hands of another guy that never made through HS.

  2. Richard says:

    Hi Greg. That is the problem. That there is no real cure, only treatment and practice. It’s a mental condition brought about by humiliation, fear, and intimidation. It’s not something that can be turned on or turned off. It’s a phobia that will follow us through life and we just have to find ways to cope with it and try to overcome some of that trepidation. Breath Hold, Fluid Loading, and Practice. It all pays off! Don’t get down on yourself. Keep your head up and Practice every time you can. You’ll have good days and bad, but eventually, the good will absolutely outweigh the bad. :) -Richard

  3. Frank says:

    In Norway they take you to prison if you refuse to serve in the army because of your paruresis-problem. In the army the paruresis-problem is a very big problem, and in the prison it will also be a big problem. I know because I had to og to prison for 45 days back in 1985. It was hell to me.

  4. Richard says:

    Wow, I can’t even imagine. That’s a nightmare for sure. How did you even go? Did it help you overcome some fears? Do you still have Paruresis? I’m so curious…

  5. Anonymous says:

    I got locked up on a Friday. Not good. Three days inside. I’ve worried about having a shy bladder in jail too. And I had to finally deal with it. It was pure hell. I only drank one glass of water per day and had to sit to piss, forcing it out and invariably shitting myself in the process. I got placed on suicide watch just so I could be in a cell with one person versus in a crowded dorm-style room with many people.

    But do you know what’s worse? Being on probation and having to do random drug tests with someone staring right at your dick, all the while the failure to piss being lorded over you as a quick trip right back to jail, right back into that hell, in a never-ending cycle.

  6. Richard says:

    I can’t even imagine… So sorry you had to go through this. Please work on desensitization, fluid loading, breath hold and getting a pee buddy… They all can help you deal with situations like this better.

  7. Frank Viktor Johansen says:

    I am sorry for this very late answer ! I still have paruresis ! And I am still mad as hell to the norwegian nazi-system who send people with such a handicap to prison ! In the prison it was very painful because I could not pee for the first two days. I got really mad and told the guards that I would not eat or drink anything because of my paruresis. They just laugh at me – then I got really mad and told them that I was serious about going totally crazy ! After a while they moved me to a single cell. After some hours I could go peeing to a bucket. I had to stay in that prison for 45 days because I refused 21 days of military exercise !

  8. Richard says:

    Hi Frank. Very sorry to hear that. The only up side is that you were finally able to pee, even under difficult situations. Peeing in a bucket in prison, even in a single cell could not be easy. But you persisted, and overcame enough fear to go. So it does show that even in extreme circumstances, eventually you could go given enough time, effort, and conditions. Just keep practicing. That’s the only way to fight this; face it. The system will probably never change… We are the ones that have to. -Richard

  9. Frank says:

    Well, I lost my job because of the 45 days in prison. I got a lots of economical problems because of this. I had to sell my house etc. The norwegian fascist system loves to punish people with a handicap ! I still suffer with paruresis ! Today I am a public enemy who is thinking about revenge every day !

  10. Richard says:

    Frank, get no revenge. Instead, channel your adversary towards a more useful purpose. Everything happens for a reason. Get involved with others in the same situation and work on recovery as one. It’s hard to face alone. But in a group, like you can tackle it together. Keep your head up. Focus and find a way. Believe in yourself. I do. -Richard

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