What’s the Story that I want to tell about myself?
I thought about this when I read that line in the Pee Shy to Pee Free book (page 78).
What do I want people to hear?
That I Beat Paruresis!
I Beat Paruresis!
This website isn’t in vain.
That I set out with a goal in mind, and step by step I over came my fears and stepped foot in a busy public bathroom and peed at a urinal like the rest of the men.
That’s the story I’m aiming for. That’s what I want to accomplish. A life full of freedom from this silly little phobia.
I want to Pee like a Man!
I want to recover from this condition and never look back. I want to move on with my life and not have it hinder my every decision. I want to put Paruresis out of my mind and have it become ancient history.
I want to look back at this website in 40 years from now and say to myself “Wow, I vaguely remember having those feelings and fears!”
How Grand would that be?
It’s like writing a whole new ending to my life. A Happy Ending!
One where the sound of pee hitting the water doesn’t shame me. One where my bladder doesn’t lock up and where peeing is just a natural thing to me and I don’t know of any other way.
I Want that Story!
I won’t give up until I achieve it. Even if it kills me…
Who knows, I could pass out from Breath Hold, fall and crack my head on the toilet… ???
You never know!
I’m still doing Breath Hold Exercises every time I Pee. Even with my Pee Buddy present. I can usually hold it long enough to start Peeing, but now I’m working on not gasping for air afterwards.
This morning I’m holding my breath at the toilet. Mike, my Pee Buddy, is beside me. He asks me a question. I’m holding my breath and can’t answer.
He waits a second, then looks at me “Oh, That’s Right!” he says “You’re holding Your breath!“
I had just told him on the way to the bathroom that I was going to… Ha! How easily they forget!
And trust me, when I can beat this disorder, I’ll try to forget it just as easily!
Out of Sight, Out of Mind!
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it! :)