If you read any of my posts on here, you’ll see something pretty striking: I feel like a victim!
You’ll hear me beat myself up over “WHY ME?“
“It’s Not Fair!”
“I’m Not Normal!”
“Why Did it Happen to ME?”
“I Hate Myself!”
“I Wish I was Dead!“
Does this sound familiar to you?
If so, you may feel like a victim like me.
It’s easy as humans to whine and complain over (perceived) unfair treatment.
“How come He can Pee at a Urinal and I can’t?”
“Why do I have this Stupid Condition?”
“Why is there NO Cure?“
“What did I do so Wrong to Deserve this?”
“I’m Not Man enough!”
I really do harp on the negative. I know that. It’s like throwing myself in front of a moving train… EVERY DAY!
“Oh Woe is Me!”
And believe me, I get tired of it too. I get tired of being so blue and down and depressed. It’s very taxing.
But the truth is, it’s easy to think this way. It IS the easy way out.
As long as I pout and moan and cry, I won’t have to face the music. I won’t have to put myself into uncomfortable situations like trying to pee at a urinal for the first time in my life.
It’s easier to kick myself and scream at the World that life isn’t fair and that I got the raw end of the deal.
“I’m Not a Man!”
“I’m Scared to Pee!“
“Bathrooms Frighten Me!”
“I will NEVER be able to go!”
The funny thing is, deep down, I know all this negative talk and thought does nothing but provoke more negativity. I know it’s a vicious circle.
So What do I have to do?
Accept my condition and my past, and deal with it head on.
Instead of crying puppy dog tears, I need to refocus my energy on being positive and facing my fears. That’s the only way to recover from this Social Phobia that hinders my life.
You have to do what scares you!
That’s the only way I’ll get my life and respect back. I need to accept the fact that I do have issues peeing in public. I need to see what steps I need to do to overcome my Paruresis.
Pee Shyness is a learned behavior. It’s something that’s built up my whole life. It won’t be easy to change. But bitching and moaning won’t do any good. It only makes matters worse.
Accept who I am. Accept my Paruresis as what it is and get my brain back into perspective.
I can over come this!
I can fight! I can take control of my life again. But it’s going to be difficult and I’ll have to do things I don’t want to do.
You just have to take it one step at a time. Baby steps. Point yourself in the right direction and never look back.
Set yourself some goals.
Stay up beat and positive.
Don’t worry about How or Why, just concentrate and focus on resolving it!
I AM tired of feeling sorry for myself. I’m sick of feeling like the walls are crushing in.
WHY NOT ME?
Everybody has issues with something. Everybody has their own burdens and crutch to bear. Mine is Shy Bladder! So What?
The World isn’t against me. They aren’t forcing me into a corner. That’s your own negative thoughts doing that.
Hold you chin high. Dust yourself off. Take the first positive step!
You keep saying (in about every post) that you NEED to find a Pee Buddy! Are you going to say that your whole life?
Think about it!
You know that you need one, so JUST DO IT! Ask your friend Mike, he seems like the perfect person to confront! Really! It won’t happen by itself. You have to make it happen!
The only way you’ll ever recover is if you take action and remove those handcuffs yourself.
You hold the Key!
So who are you Richard?
Are you a victim?
Or are you a Victor?