I was watching NATGEO the other night, more specifically “The Numbers Game“.
The show was about “toughness“.
It talked about the different ways to make yourself physically and mentally tougher. And one of the ways to strengthen yourself was to strengthen with other people, or strength in numbers.
You see, if you find someone who has the same exact problems as you, you can then work together more effectively to find a grand solution.
Becoming stronger together is better than going it alone. You can strengthen each other and you will be able to overcome your difficulties faster and easier.
And I thought about this, and it’s so true.
In fact, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing to recover from Paruresis.
I found a Pee Buddy who could help me. This act is what made it possible for me to now pee in public, in busy bathrooms, with other guys all around (most of the time).
It’s a Buddy!
Someone that I can talk to, open up to, discuss matters instead of keeping it hidden and secret.
It’s a great support system!
Much like the IPA Forums and support groups, but on a much smaller scale. They already know that meeting and talking with others going through the same thing is beneficial to all. You feel like you’re not alone and it gives you the courage and backbone to face your phobia head-on. You feel like you can tackle this condition one day at a time because you’re doing it with a Buddy.
Someone that you can share your emotions and experience with.
It really does work!
Before I decided to try working with a Pee Buddy I actually failed for almost 2 years (Read the post that made me start up again). I tried by myself, and it didn’t work. I tried to “cure” myself and I got nowhere fast. I gave up. I feel like it made matters even worse! It was depressing!
But the day I finally accepted the fact that I had no choice but to get a Pee Buddy and I took that scary but initial first step is the day that changed my life forever (read: My Pee Buddy begins!).
I began living that day!
The chip was off my shoulder! I wasn’t locking my problem away in a closet, I was bringing it to the open, as frightening as it was. I started with my Pee Buddy (day 1), and to this day eight months later, I still pee at least once a day with my Pee Buddy next to me. I can tell that I’m used to. It was a gradual, slow process, but it’s undoing years of bad behavior. It’s working.
Yesterday, I was peeing in the bathroom mid-afternoon, and I had the door wide-open. Now many people would wonder why I would do such a thing, but it’s just the two of us guys who live here, so peeing with the door open is no biggie (granted, it used to be for me). But peeing freely is a manly thing to do, just like peeing on the side of the road with your buddy, or peeing in a urinal or trough in a public bathroom. It’s no different. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.
For the most part, guys don’t care, it’s no big deal… for those without Paruresis.
For me, it’s continuous desensitization.
And so, here I was peeing and Mike, my Pee Buddy, comes down the hall and sticks his head in the bathroom. I didn’t even hear him coming. He pops his head in and asked me a question. He’s facing directly at me, and I didn’t break stream! I didn’t falter in the least, but I did turn to look at him, I replied, and I kept on peeing.
That’s what having a Pee Buddy has done to me. That’s how far I’ve come. It’s quite insane to even think about. But it”s support, teamwork, and it brings success!
So if you have Paruresis, or Shy Bladder, or Pee Shyness, or whatever you call it, open up and find yourself a Buddy.
Whether it be a best friend (like mine, even though he doesn’t have Paruresis), someone in the forums, a support group, or a meeting… find someone that you can confide in and use them for strength!
You have to!
I don’t know anyone who’s fully recovered that didn’t get help somewhere, somehow.
Get a Buddy!
Begin desensitizing. Little by little you will recover.
Grab a book if you must. There are tons of great books on the subject (read my Shy Bladder books post here). They can prepare you, help you stay focused, and it will give you the boost to begin!
But it all starts with you!
That’s the first step. It’s crucial!
You have to be ready to face your demons. Just don’t do it alone.
Find a Buddy. Become stronger. And let that strength carry you forward.
It will work.
It did for me. :)