First day of the new week means, I need to desensitize in 3 more Public Bathrooms.
I won’t let up on that because it forces myself to enter bathrooms, versus listening to my Paruretic Ways and Avoid them.
It would Avoid all of them if it could.
So me and my Pee Buddy Mike are walking into Menards today. I tell Mike “I’m going to the bathroom“.
He says he’ll wait.
As I walk up to the bathroom entrance, I notice I’m looking around to see who’s watching me, staring at me, seeing me enter… Sigh, will I ever stop worrying about this?
No One is Looking!
I head in and instantly see legs under the first stall right next to the urinals. Great! Someone’s taking a Dump! UGH!
I really hate that. It’s something I don’t want to be around (they’re always quiet and listening), nor hear, nor smell (Good thing I’ll be Holding my Breath).
Luckily though, all 3 urinals are empty.
It’s just Me and Him!
I walk up to the first urinal already holding my breath. I’m looking at their ads plastered above the urinals, but I’m not reading them, I’m concentrating on relaxing and holding my breath so I can pee (not that I had an urge).
It’s so much more difficult when I’m not alone. It’s like day and night.
I’m holding my breath and I can tell pretty quickly that it won’t be easy. My lungs are fighting it.
The guy in the stall starts talking loudly…
I wasn’t even paying attention to him, so I really don’t know what he was saying…
I’m more worried about trying to get a flow going… I’m struggling inside, desperately clinging on…
Stall guy is still talking and I now understand he’s on his cell phone “I’ll just be a few minutes and I’ll swing by…“
I’m 35 seconds into Breath Hold and I know I’m close…
Finally at 45 seconds in, I start to pee. THANK GOD! (3rd time peeing in a urinal)
I pee for a bit while I catch my breath. That was hard to control without gasping like a lunatic.
I Pee Quickly and Finish!
I walk over to the sink and can tell that I’m still out of breath. I’m almost panting. I stare at myself in the mirror and what do I see?
My entire face and head is blood shot. I’m as red as a tomato.
Wow! It almost startled me!
That’s not obvious now isn’t it?
This is why I need to practice more. But at least it did work…
Once I met up with Mike, I tell him I peed. He says “Really? You were fast!“
That’s the cool thing about Breath Hold, you’re in, you’re out.
I’m so close to mastering this… But there are still some aspects of it I need to fine tune…
- Learning to Relax More
- Holding my Breath Better (Maybe even Earlier, like as I’m Walking in)
- Not Gasping at the End
- Not Turning Beet Red
Mike said that he couldn’t tell I was red, so that’s good. It went away pretty fast, but boy did I see it!
I analyze my Breath Hold later and wonder if it’s my age that’s making it more difficult?
Mike says “Anyone at any age can hold their breath!” True True…
Maybe it’s just a matter of practicing more?
And then I also wonder about that extra little step that Jordan said about Breath Hold:
…if you take a tiny “sip” of air (like 1 ml) the moment before the Pelvic Floor drops, then it will allow you to relax naturally at that point and will keep you from gasping like you normally would after you inhale.
In fact, BeserkPencil said almost the exact same thing in the IPA forums. He says:
Right before the pelvic floor drops involuntarily, take in a small (tiny!) gasp of breath to override the PF drop.
So there you go, this may be the missing element that I need to master Breath Hold.
That one little gasp of air at the end could do the trick. If it keeps me from struggling, gasping at the end, and turning red, then it’s like winning the lotto! :)
I would be able to Breath Hold anywhere, anytime, and Pee at any urinal in public in just under a minute. That’s Incredible!
So the next time I do Breath Hold, that’s what I’m going to try to do: “SIP!“
Plus, one other thing may help me as well… You see, I didn’t have a desire to pee, so I’m actually forcing myself to go. If I had a Full Bladder of Urine, with a Strong Urge, then maybe I wouldn’t have to struggle so hard ??? Maybe it would just happen!
All good things to Consider, Learn and Try!
No matter what, I AM PEEING! It IS WORKING! And I’m Peeing FAST!
I’m Peeing in Public, with other guys in the Bathroom!
And that my friends, is Progress! :)