The plans tonight are to go out to eat at Chilis (I crave those Boneless Buffalo Wings), and so an hour before we leave the house, I start drinking water.
And by the time we head out the door, I’ve not only finished 1 bottle of 16 oz water, but I grabbed another bottle and chugged it.
Then we’re picking some friends up and off to Chilis we go!
By the time we get to the restaurant, I already had a small urge to Pee. It wasn’t a huge urge yet, like “Get outta my way I have to Pee!“, it was more of an urge that said “I could Pee, or I could wait!“
And that my friends, scared me!
That was Paruresis Talking!
So as soon as we sit down, I start drinking MORE water. I drank an entire glass in the first 10 minutes.
Appetizers came.
Another refill of water and a glass of Moscato.
Bring on the Liquids!
After the wings (really they are to die for) came, we finished them off and I knew it was time to make my move…
I still had only a slight urge to go, but I knew that if I waited much longer, the urge would dissolve and fade away. I didn’t want to have that happen.
So I excused myself and made my way to the hallway and the bathrooms in the back.
I pushed on the Men’s Door and entered!
There was no one in there. I had NEVER been in this restroom before, even though I’ve probably eaten in here about 50 times in the last 5 years.
Never once had I ever had the courage to go in…
Until Today!
There are 2 urinals and 2 stalls.
And the urinals were not nice. They were probably the Grossest Urinals I have ever seen. Both of them were full of Piss and other crap. I stopped and looked. Really? I almost walked away, they looked so bad and dingy and disgusting.
I don’t know if they were plugged, broken, or if people just didn’t flush them (they weren’t automatic), but they certainly made you think twice about using them.
I sighed, felt my heart begin to race more, stepped up to one of them (avoiding eye contact), unzipped and held my breath (holding my breath for Breath Hold, plus I didn’t know if it smelled or not – the Stench of Urine is Not Polite!)
I looked straight ahead and ignored the gross feelings… And within 20 seconds I was peeing.
I kept taking small sips of air while holding my breath because I wasn’t at full stream yet, and I feared I’d freeze up if someone were to walk in.
Finally I got going full steam and I peed for probably a good minute. I relaxed, exhaled, and enjoyed the feeling of voiding.
After my bladder emptied out, I flushed (not watching to see if it went down or backed up more), washed and left.
Keep the Drinks a Coming…
As I ate my meal, I drank my Wine and ANOTHER glass of water.
For I knew one very important thing… Once I start Peeing, I can keep on Peeing…
And my goal was to Pee one more time in that Bathroom (even though it needed desperate attention).
And so, right after our meal…
I made one last visit to the John!
Again, as I enter, I was the only one in there. Which is odd because the restaurant was packed. All the tables were full and yet, once more, I’m able to pee in silence.
How cool is that?
And yes, the Urinals were still full of Urine!
They had to be clogged…
Yuck!
No matter, I add more to the mix and Peed again.
And right before I finish, the door opens and some guy walks in. I didn’t look, but I could hear him go over to the sink, turn the water on, then dry his hands (sticky barbecue sauce maybe?).
As I flush and turn towards him, I see he’s looking at himself in the mirror. I briefly wonder if he’s Pee Shy and waiting for me to leave??? I always think about that now when I see other guys lingering in the bathroom… You never know!
So the bathroom at Chilis was a Success; 2 Urinals, 2 Pees…
I couldn’t be happier!
And as I left the restaurant I could hear myself say…
“I Want My Baby-Back, Baby-Back, Baby-Back Ribs!“
Now I got you saying it! HA! :)
