I Can’t Pee In There!

If there’s one thing I dread, it’s walking into a bathroom and seeing what I see.

You never know what to expect.

First of all, it takes a lot of courage and discomfort on my part just to even get to the point of trying to step towards the bathroom, let alone go in.

I have to be so uncomfortable with my bladder that it’s practically consuming my every thought.

In other words, I’d just about get run over by a mac truck then attempt to pee in public.

So on those rare occasions, when I do summons up the courage and make a bold try at peeing, I know I have to do one thing first…

Step into the John

I hate that will all my passion.

I’m always so tense, scared and on the verge of panic. I feel like everyone is looking at me, knowing that hey “He’s actually going in to pee? He CAN’T pee! This should be funny…

And so many times they’re right. So many times I set one foot into the bathroom and immediately turn and walk right back out.

Just 2 weeks ago this happened

I was at Cedar Point (the Roller Coaster Capital) and I had to go. I step through the crowd waiting at the entrances and walk into the men’s bathroom. Guys are coming and going and when I walk in, there are guys waiting for the urinals. The sinks are full. The few stalls there are are occupied. A couple guys look at me… (Sizing me up)

I Cant Pee In There

I’m embarrassed. I know in that one instance that this attempt is a no-go. My brain practically screams “Abandon Ship, Abandon Ship!

My feet quickly turn around (almost running into a guy walking in) and I bolt right back out the door.

I know some guys saw me come and go so fast. I could feel their eyes on the back of my head.

I also know that the ten thousand people huddled around the bathrooms saw me enter and leave high tail as well.

I walk back out, head down so I don’t see their gaze. My heart beats fast. I chickened out and couldn’t pee. I’m a weirdo!

I feel like a total failure!

This happens quite often. If in one glance the bathroom is too busy, too much commotion, people waiting, watching, I know it’s an impossible mission. I have no recourse but to leave fast and keep my screaming bladder screaming some more.

These are horrible situations, but sadly, common situations for Paruretics.

You never know until you walk in to the lion’s den.

The odds aren’t stacked in your favor!

Sure it’s nice when the bathroom is empty or calm. It’s even better if there’s loud music and plenty of stalls to chose from… Especially if the partitions go all the way down to the floor! YES!

But those bathrooms are rare, and few, and until then, it’s just me and my bladder yelling…

“I CAN’T PEE IN THERE!”

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