Desensitization Day 44

I wake up early in the morning, grab my coffee and head to the john.

I leave the door wide open and instantly start to pee.

Mike walks by and glances in and says:

You still need a Pee Buddy?”

Nah” I say “I believe I’m as desensitized as I can be!

An hour later I’m leaving the house and eating a Donut at Tim Hortons.

Desensitization Day 44

I use the bathroom there with no problems and make my way out to the car with a Large French Vanilla Cappuccino. “YUM!”

I’ve already downed two cups of coffee as it is, and now this coffee will probably give me the shakes on the plane. HA!

I laugh at this thinking I won’t get any sleep!

I take the hour long drive to the airport (I’m taking a 4 hour flight to Vegas for some fun Sky Diving!).

I chug my coffee.

I can’t wait to jump feet first…

1/2 way to the airport, I stop off at the Reststop and walk into the men’s bathroom.

It smells bad in there. All the stalls are full. 2 guys are peeing at the urinals. 3 more are at the sinks and dryers. A lot of commotion!

As I enter half of them glare at me!

I step up to the center urinal as I hold my breath. For the past few days I’ve been able to pee while holding my breath, so there’s no better place to practice than here…

And wouldn’t you know it…

I start to pee 40 seconds in!

I slowly inhale so no one knows that I was holding my breath. I pee until my bladder is empty! I’m a happy guy!

That’s how you get things done!

I get back to the car and arrive at the airport 1/2 hour later. I’m a little anxious about the flight, but I love the take offs. That thrill is unlike any other…

After I check in, I grab another drink at Starbucks. I sit near the window at my gate.

I ponder Breath Hold briefly, smile, and wonder if it will work in the airport bathroom and then on the plane? (some of my biggest fears and phobias)

I decide to give it a try!

I head to the bathroom and have to wait for a urinal to open up. The last urinal next to the stalls does. I walk by one creepy guy who won’t stop staring at me. I ignore him and position myself at the plate. I hold my breath and wait.

This time, to my surprise, I actually start to pee just 30 seconds in. I’m almost floored.

I peed a little, hesitated for a second when the feet under the stall moved, then continued to pee full force.

Ahhhhhhh!!!! Relief!

I’m so proud of myself!

Then the real test is left: The airplane!

I board the plane right on time. I’ve been drinking a lot of water and as soon as the plane is in the air I NEED to pee!

I head to the back of the plane where there’s already a line forming. Everyone’s standing there, looking at each other, not saying a word. AWKWARD!

Finally it’s my turn!

I go in, close the rickety door and see that there’s a small gap in the door frame. I can actually see the Stewardess in red pushing her cart down the aisle.

Don’t let it get to you” I think “No one cares if you pee. Everyone pees! It’s no big deal! Just pee!”

And since I really NEEDED to pee, I turned around, unzipped, held my breath, hung onto the wall for support (the plane was rocking)…

And that’s about the time that I hear someone trying to get in the door. The latch was rapping and the hinge was screaming… REALLY??? Can’t you read ASS HOLE!

I take another deep breath, let it go, and 30 seconds later I’m peeing!

It just happened!

I peed on the plane!

Breath Hold worked like a charm.

Once I touched down in Vegas (3 hours later), I head straight for the hotel and the slot machines. YES!

I stick my token in, punch the button and BINGO, I WIN $1,000,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck me!

And that’s when I woke up!

It was all a dream!

Groan! (Are you fucking kidding me? YES! Yes I am!)

This is a dream of mine now, to pee freely with Breath Hold, anytime, anywhere… But with practice, this dream really could become a reality.

It’s funny how you can do things and accomplish things in your dream that you normally never would.

The mind does play tricks!

But this trick WILL COME TRUE!

Paruresis will be beaten!

Now… If only I could hit that “JACKPOT!

For real!

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