Paruresis Breath Hold Practice

I’m a Paruretic who’s been practicing the Breath Hold Technique for a couple of weeks now.

I’ve been testing this at home in the safety and comfort of my own bathroom.

Paruresis Breath Hold Practice

I have to admit, that I’m not all that consistent in my training efforts. I figure if I have to go already, and I have no problems going at home, then why hold my breath?

There’s nothing at home that would give me any anxiety that would keep me from peeing. So it almost seems like a waste of time to try.

Regardless of my ill thinking, I have still tried and I am still continuing the Breath Hold Method.

I stand at the toilet, feet apart, exhale about 80% of the air in my lungs, relax, trying not to struggle or gasp, just concentrating on my bladder and groin area, thinking about going…

Sometimes I hold my breath so long I feel like I’m about to pass out. I actually hold onto the wall for support in case I do… Not that it would matter much, once you pass out you’re on the floor anyway…

It Works???

A couple of times I actually did pee during my practice sessions.

I don’t know if it’s because I held my breath, or if it’s just because I had to go anyway, but I did go.

I would say at least 5 or 6 times now I’ve been able to go with breath hold. Coincidence? Maybe. I’m still trying to figure this whole thing out.

I am getting better at relaxing while holding my breath. I’m getting better at thinking about peeing and trying to open up the flood gates. I feel like I’m close. I still can’t tell if it really works or not, but I’m close to finding out.

I can Feel it

Sometimes I think it’s all mental (it’s already a mental situation to begin with).

Sometimes I think all I’m doing is retraining my thoughts and my brain to pee under different circumstances.

It may not be the actual breath holding that does the trick, but me thinking that the breath holding is doing the trick that allows me to pee.

Am I Crazy?

I look at it like a Placebo. It works because you want it to. That’s what my mind is mumbling to me as the weeks go by.

There may be some truth to this, who knows. It may be a combination of the two. I’ll find out…

Right now, I keep slowly practicing. I practice at home, in the shower, at work… I have to yet practice in a public bathroom…

I have an insane Fact to spill…

I haven’t set foot in a public bathroom since I started this blog (Dec. 20th 2011 – See how I avoid them?).

That’s a scary thought.

One thing I have done though, and this is a huge step for me, is I’ve taught myself to pee directly into the toilet water so it makes splashing noises. Only once in the past week have I noticed myself going back to my old ways and peeing on the quiet side of the bowl. I quickly took aim and redirected my steam back towards the center.

Other than that, I’ve been making noises everywhere I go (which is at home and at work). :)

It’s a small step, but it’s moving forward.

I’m gotten rather used to the sound of me peeing. It doesn’t bother me anymore. It used to be I couldn’t make a peep… Now I’m at work peeing loudly in the john, with customers walking by about ten feet away (a small stock area is between us)… but with no dividing wall.

That’s a huge leap for me. One mission complete!

I do feel like I’m making progress with breath hold. I just need to get more serious and really focus. Strive to hold my breath every time I go.

Who knows if I’ll have a break through?

I still have this massive fear of even stepping foot in a public bathroom. One thing at a time…

No one said this was going to be easy. I’ve got a whole lifetime of trained behavior to unravel. I believe I’m headed on my way, one breath at a time.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

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10 Responses to Paruresis Breath Hold Practice

  1. 19 year old college kid says:

    Yeah, I have been reading your posts and they are pretty cool and lively. Maybe the slightly different wiring in your brain gives you much more personality on paper. Well, that is one thing we share in common, I hate to say, but if you can take solace in one thing I tell you, it is that I have had a lot of success with the breath hold in the past 2 years.

    In a nutshell, I used to suffer from this all throughout high school, but learned of the BH 2 weeks before my senior year. I then practiced for 45 seconds every day for 2 weeks until I finally got it just in time for school to start. As you can imagine, standing there for 45 seconds was awkward for a while, but after about 2 months of using it successfully every day (I must have had the breath capacity of a pro diver) it only took me 10 seconds exactly from the time I started walking to the time I got there to be ready to go.

    When I got to college, I realized that it is even easier once you get it that quick to simply take a small inhale (~1mL) of air through your mouth (a “chirp” so to speak) right before the PF drop, and it will allow you to start your stream voluntarily at that point. Long story short, I had 10 times the confidence and couldn’t recommend seeing it through enough. Just do it every day or you will lose the ability. Eventually using that little modification, I could do all stalls 100 percent with only a 2 second BH, even with other people watching. What you said about placebo is true, and the feeling of empty lungs gives me confidence in situations for some reason, and that is a good example. Exhale your air now, and you will feel how it would naturally lend to a feeling of “I can do this” when approaching, especially when coupled with previous success.

    I wish you luck in your endeavors, and just know that life is a mountain; it is what it is, and then we all die. Always look to your dreams for inspiration, dreaming is a sure sign of a healthy mind, and a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

    • Richard says:

      You don’t know how much I appreciate you taking the time to write this. Thank you! It’s rare in life… I Love how you mastered BH so fast and efficient. Getting it down to just 2 seconds in the stall is awesome. I will continue to practice Breath Hold and hopefully I can be saying the same things in just a couple of months. :) Thanks again!

  2. jimbob says:

    Been living with this same problem for years now. 70% of the time I would have no problem as long as I was in locker stall and people weren’t waiting. Talking to me will just clamp me up. Recently I was forced to go to jail. Talk about nightmare!! I wound up being very lucky and was placed in an open unit that actually had stalls. I started experimenting with urinals there and eventually could go when they’re was one out two “non threatening” people were there. Progress but not success.

    Now I’m on probation and have gotten in trouble for not being able to piss with a man present. WAY TOO STRESSFUL. Especially when people with a hot urine used the excuse and ruined it for people like me.

    Humiliated and realizing this problem was literally going to send me to jail,I researched the problem and discovered not only was I not alone, but there was hope with BH technique. I practiced at home, stalls and urinals and it seemed to work, but only prayed it would work during the stress of a probation test.

    My friends who share my problem, let me tell you this is not a good situation. You got a guy watching you to make sure you don’t cheat and if you fail, you go to jail for a rather embarrassing reason.

    Yesterday I was forced with this unpleasant task..and I succeeded! Held my breath and sure enough after about 40 seconds my stream started! This may very well go down as one of my personal greatest accomplishments. I can do it! This technique had saved me from incarceration and allows me the freedom of not having top limit myself socially.

    If you suffer from this problem, I highly recommend simply holding your breath for s about 40 seconds. I don’t know of its a mental thing or if it does just relax your muscles, but I don’t care! All I know is it worked and if you are suffering as I did try this technique and you may find the solution. Sure the awkward tone before your stream comes is there, but it’s better than working yourself up to the point you wait people out, then try and go in stall unnoticed. Only for you to realize your so stressed that even privacy won’t help you. It also saved me from the awkward conversation I had to have with my first p.o. when I couldn’t go.

    I FEEL AS IF I HAVE BEEN GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE!

    • Richard says:

      Hi Jimbob. Thanks for the awesome story. I can’t even imagine being in your position. I’m so happy you got it to work. That would be very stressful. I have been able to get BH to work about 80% of the time now, after lots of practice, but under high stress I still need help. I wrote about it here: Beyond Breath Hold. Thanks again for the comment, much appreciated, and I always wonder how they did it in jail. What a nightmare. :) -Richard

  3. kevin says:

    this holding breath thing i dont understand how it can work i read that the reason people lock up is cause there mucles down there tense up and they need to relax them muslce so they can pee when i hold my breath i tense up.

  4. MH says:

    I struggled with this horrible problem (paruresis) for years. Holding my breath before going in a public restroom is the only thing that has worked for me. It takes about 30 seconds of holding my breath to work. It has been a miracle.

    • Richard says:

      That’s Awesome that you can get it to work for you. A lot of people can’t. I use Breath Hold as well, but do a slight Variation of it. I Hold my Breath, apply Slight Pressure down, and then Slowly SLOWLY inhale, exhale again, and hold it some more. It seems to Work well for me. :) Thanks for the Comment! -Richard

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