One time in my life I actually peed with people looking.
Sadly, it was a mistake.
You see, I went into this busy bathroom at the theater one time. There was a wait outside the door (I hate that – Good thing it’s rare). I got more nervous as I waited and the line moved forward. I kept watching for a stall to open up, hoping that it would land on me…
I got lucky. A stall opened up just as it was my turn. A stall in the middle of the stalls no doubt, but a stall became available instead of a urinal (so I wouldn’t have to tell guys behind me to go around me – which is very embarrassing and draws attention to my condition).
As I head in and the door opens, I head towards it. The guys comes out and we make eye contact…
That’s the Worst!
It’s a look of “Sorry I just took a Shit in there and now you’re gonna smell it…“
That kind of look.
I feel slightly disgusted, but I have no choice. I had to pee bad. My bladder was dying and I had to get some relief soon.
So I close the door behind me. Unzip and stand there listening to the busy commotion of the bathroom. The sinks are going. The hand dryers on. Chatter is everywhere. Toilets are flushing. Footsteps move up and down the room. Someone farts in the stall next to me…
And I’m just standing there waiting for my piss to begin. Relax. Relax. I kept telling myself.
It takes about 4 minutes (which feels like a lifetime) to begin. If there’s a lot of distracting noise it helps me go… as long as I can go quietly.
This Day, I Peed a little
I could have stood there for another 5 minutes and peed some more, but I was done for now. I got a couple of squirts out. That’s a lot for me.
You’d think that I’d feel better going a little. But it actually makes it worse because the rest is pushing and wanting to come out but can’t. I’m under too much pressure. Guys are waiting. They can see my feet… I just don’t work that way.
The longer I hold it, the longer it takes me to go, so instead I leave. I also know that I won’t get another chance that night. I only get the courage once!
Plus, I don’t want all the guys in line to think I’m a real freak because I’m taking so long…
I zip up, flush the toilet, and turn around…
I almost passed out.
The Stall Door was Open!
Open all the way up. It must not have latched properly and some how it swung all the way open silently and I was too focused on peeing to notice. I didn’t hear a sound.
That’s never happened to me before. Ever!
I felt terrified because guys were everywhere. 3 were washing at the sinks across from me. I could see their faces in the mirror. 2 guys were walking by, and one even turned to stare at me as he passed.
All this time I was trying to pee invisible, and was being highly observed and didn’t even know it.
That was a Nightmare I’ll never forget!
How many guys were standing there waiting for me? Watching me? How many thought the stall was open (because the door was open) and just about came in behind me?
How many could tell I was pee shy and frozen in place?
Embarrassed, I quickly washed my hands and left not making any eye contact. I could feel everyone looking at me. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve felt like such a spectacle.
How many people saw me?
How many People know the Truth?
The lesson I learned here, isn’t the fact that I CAN actually pee in front of people if I think they’re not watching…
LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR BEHIND YOU!
That was sheer panic and you better believe that now when I go into a stall, I make sure the door is absolutely closed.
A stall door isn’t much privacy to begin with, but it’s something. It’s better than being on display.
I never want to go through that again…