Me, and a group of my friends had a busy night a while back…
We were going to a Bruno Mars Concert! :)
It all started with a two hour drive from our home to a hotel near the stadium where the concert was at.
We figured since it was a 2 hour drive, we’d just stay up there for the night and drive back the next day (which worked out perfectly).
So we leave and get to the hotel early!
Then all us leave shortly after for a local pub and a beer (beer for them, root beer for me).
Then 45 minutes later we all go back to the hotel so Kay can change into something more dazzling for the show.
Our plan is to head to a fish-house (forgot the name) 3 miles from the stadium to eat, and then hit the 8 p.m. show afterwards.
So we’re all waiting in the hotel room as she gets ready, and then right before we leave everyone goes in the small john to pee. And I can tell that my pee-shy desensitization is working, because even with a room full of my friends (who don’t know about me, all except for Mike, my Pee Buddy) I had no trouble peeing in that tiny hotel bathroom just a couple feet from them. Which is awesome, because I know they could hear me.
Then, it’s off to eat…
By 5:30 we’re all seated in the fish-house chowing down on some yummy food. I had a glass of Moscato with my salad, and long about 7:00 we’re on our way to the Bruno Mars concert (which was very cool, and very fun).
The arena was packed!
It’s the largest arena I’ve ever been in and the lines to the food, drinks, and bathrooms wrapped around the building (or so it seemed).
I know as soon as I saw them (especially after my opening day fiasco), that peeing there would probably be a impossibility (I had already accepted that fact).
Mike actually stood in line for 20 minutes and told me later that it was crazy because women were even waiting in that same line as well (WTF?). He said that there were only about six urinals all together, and that the line was insanely long directly behind you (why do such a large arenas have so few bathrooms?).
I would have died…
He told me that he even had a hard time going himself. It took him a while to go because of the extreme pressure and cramped conditions. And so, when he finally was able to pee, it took him a couple minutes to even get a stream going… (and remember this is Mr.-I-pee-in-five-seconds-really-fast-and-really-loud).
Needless to say, I didn’t pee at the concert, didn’t try, and thankfully, I didn’t need to.
I had no urge to go whatsoever! :)
The concert ended with two kick ass encore songs (Locked out of Heaven, and Gorilla). And then we left the stadium… We got really lucky because we parked at the far end of the parking lot near the exit. So once the concert was over, it only took 10 minutes to get out of the parking lot versus the normal hour and a half.
Five minutes later we were back at the hotel, where I could pee in peace when needed.
So while I didn’t go to the bathroom at the concert, it didn’t affect the night and I had a wonderful time after all.
If I did need to pee, that would’ve been a whole different story… so I thank my lucky stars that didn’t happen!
The Drive Back Home
And then yesterday on the way back home, we stopped off at an outlet center to get a bite to eat and do a little shopping.
Luckily, I had three successful pee sessions there…
The first was at Rain Forest Café. I had been drinking coffee and soda all morning, and by afternoon, I had to piss.
So, as soon as we enter the restaurant, I head towards the bathroom. I walk in… I see one urinal, and three stalls.
That’s an odd setup!
I go to the only urinal and look down… this is not only a kiddy urinal, but it’s so low to the floor that it looked like an ant urinal. It looked like you’d have to aim directly towards your shoes to pee. Weird!
So I hesitated, and then walked past the stalls because it look like the bathroom continued… It didn’t, it was just a little inset. :(
So I faced the stalls and decide to just use one of them instead. I go in the middle stall, unzip, and right before I pee, I hear some shuffling in the third stall.
Someone’s in there!!! Ugh!
And me, I had to take the stall next to him… With my feet pointing towards the toilet! GREAT!!!
I ignore this horrible scenario, and gently apply pressure as I hold my breath a bit.
And lo-and-behold, I start to pee in about 20 seconds.
It was very slow to start, almost stopped, and then kept on going.
I relaxed, and patiently waited until it picked up steam and I was finally able to empty my bladder.
That was tough!
Usually peeing with someone in the next stall is very, very difficult for me. Especially if it’s just him and me in an ultra quiet bathroom.
But, I pulled it off like a PRO!
After we eat, we shop the outlet stores, and about an hour later, I need to piss again. I looked for the next restroom sign, and Mike waits as I walk the long hallway and go into the Men’s Room.
I walk in, there are four urinals, I took the last one closest to the stalls and I pee pretty damn quick.
After that, we shop for another 1/2 hr, and then right before we leave, Mike says he needs to pee. So the next time we see another bathroom sign, he goes in as I contemplate my situation. Do I need to pee again or not? And then I thought of the 2 hour drive home and decide it’s best to pee here and not have to worry about it later. So he comes out, and I go in.
This bathroom is much busier than the previous bathroom. 7 or 8 guys came and went when Mike was in there… Which of course, I noted.
And now, as I head in, I see this restroom has 4 urinals and a couple of stalls.
I instantly see that the first and third urinal are taken… Not a great situation…
And, not only are half the urinals full, but the stall closest to the last urinal (#4) was occupied as well. Which sucks, because that’s the urinal that I was heading towards.
As I walk up to it, I can see the feet under the partition shift… I frown, and then I think to myself “Oh well!“, and step up to the plate.
So now I have a guy to my left peeing in a urinal, and a guy directly to my right taking a dump… this ought to be fun!
I pull out my phone and check my emails and try to distract my mind. I can hear toilets flushing, guys are at the sink behind me, footsteps, shuffling, hand driers…
And I’m trying to concentrate and apply steady pressure down…
And it worked!
I pee in about 30 seconds, and I pee, and pee, and peed until I finally emptied my bladder…
Especially since it was a long drive home, through rush-hour, construction, and delays.
And so, 2 1/2 hours later, we end up back home, and yes, that was my journey to see Bruno Mars.
It was an awesome concert, and overall I had a great time for a Paruretic at the busiest place on earth.
Gotta love concerts!