Shy Bladder HQ

Using the bathroom in Retail Stores, Department Stores, or even Casinos, is always unnerving to me.

I always feel like I’m being watched!

I’m sure I look suspicious when I’m eyeing the bathroom door and keeping watch for traffic flow. It must look awkward.

I’m sure I look like I’m stealing something when I walk into the bathroom all nervous and glancing around. Is anyone following me in? Do people know I’m peeing?

I’m sure all the buzzers and alarms are ringing and security on the cameras are zeroing in on me and my shifty, beady eyes.

I feel like I’m being scrutinized. I also feel like there are hidden cameras in the bathrooms that track shop lifters.

Am I just paranoid or ultra anxious?

I feel like everyone is watching me enter the restroom and I’m surprised that Security Guards don’t come barging in because I take so long to pee. That’s not normal. No one goes in and stands at the toilet for 10 minutes. Red Flags go up. Go check it out a.s.a.p.

I really do stand there for long minutes at times. I look up at the ceiling. I look at the walls and stalls. I look for tiny cameras pointed straight at me. My heart races out of control. “Follow that guy, he’s up to something!“

If only they knew it had nothing to do with stealing, and everything to do with Paruresis!

It’s difficult for me to pee in public bathrooms, and it makes me nervous, tense, alert, and watching my surroundings like a hawk. Am I being filmed? Are there tiny cameras in the Stucco Ceiling? The vents? Are the mirrors two-way?

I’m paranoid! I have no reason to be scared, and I’ve never had any evidence that security is watching… I just feel that way.

It’s all in my mind!

I’ve never been followed in. Never been frisked. Never ushered out the doors by men with walkie-talkies.

Nothing has ever happened that makes me believe any of this is true, but you hear stories. They are watching! My heightened anxiety plays tricks on me:

• You look suspicious eyeing the johns, quit it!
• You look nervous and shifty, and are shuffling your feet, STOP!
• You’re looking around for other people and employees, anybody watching you heading in…
• You’re in the bathroom too long. Everyone is starting to wonder…
• 3 Guys have entered and left, and you’re still in there!

It’s my over-alert senses that lie to me. It makes me worry about horrible situations and puts my wall up.

“You can’t pee in there!” it screams. “Guards are going to break down the door and tackle you to the floor!“

I fear it’ll be embarrassing and all over the evening news.

PEE SHY MAN GETS ARRESTED AT KOHLS!

The things my mind dreams up…

Why can’t it imagine peaceful things? Light fluffy things like Kittens and Flowers and Clouds… Oh no! It’s Panic, Trepidation and FEAR!

I just want to go in there and pee like everyone else.

Instead, I’m on camera. I can almost hear the steady hum as the lens focuses and follows my every step.

Are the Security Officers saying “He just went it the stall! GO GO GO!!!“

Damn it! Stop thinking like this. I can’t pee, and now I really can’t pee!

I’ll have to hold it until I get home.

Great!

I go in the bathroom.

And I don’t even pee.

If that doesn’t look suspicious!

You know what drives me crazy?

Places that prop their bathroom door’s open!

I’m sure it’s just to let it air out inside, or to let the newly moped floors dry, but it scares the hell out of me.

When I walk up to a bathroom in a mall, restaurant, bar, or store, and the door is propped open (usually by a trash can or door jam), I hesitate. I have to quickly decide if I want to attempt to pee or not.

You see, that door does create a little privacy. Without it being closed, anybody walking by can look in and see my feet under the stall, trying to pee! There is no barricade for eyes, conversation, laughter, voices…

And there is no warning if someone were to enter the restroom or not. “SURPRISE!“

They’re just there suddenly. It’s very unnerving.

I like a closed bathroom door (especially one I can lock). It at least makes urinating much more tolerable.

Some places, like Sports Arenas or Airports, and even Costco, don’t even have bathroom doors. It’s just open entrances with non-stop traffic.

It’s horrible to me, even though I’m sure it helps get people in and out quickly and cuts down on theft.

But, the fact remains:

You’re never alone!

I read an article recently about a High School in Texas (McKinney North High School) where they removed the bathroom doors to keep kids safe.

I don’t know what the kids were doing in the johns, but evidently the School District wanted to stop it. So all the doors came off.

Parents and kids are screaming that it’s an invasion of privacy. I agree! If I went to that school, I’d probably never pee again!

Granted, I don’t remember peeing in school as it is, but that was many, many years ago, before I fully understood what Paruresis was. It’s a good thing we had doors! Because I’m sure at some time I did use them… I have a feeling I just went during class and excused myself.

I couldn’t imagine a school without!

What will the kids with Paruresis do?

After all, there have got to be some boys and girls who are pee shy. It’s a known statistic. Ripping off your doors will only hinder them even more. Enhance the situation.

They may even drop out! It’s that severe!

Schools and kids are tough enough to handle, let alone a school that makes a private bathroom trip, public knowledge. I would die!

It can be a very traumatic experience. Combine that with bullying and taunting, and my anxiety goes through the roof.

And to not know when someone is creeping up behind you in the bathroom. Entering my safety zone… Can be devastating!

If I don’t know they’re coming in, or using the stall next to me… They could hear me. Startle me! It could get very embarrassing. I could hear laughter in the hall. There could be a crowd of kids pointing and laughing at my feet… “He’s just standing there! He’s been standing there for 5 Minutes! What a pervert!“

Good God! Close the doors! Keep them closed.

And preferably, put a lock on the door so people can do their business in private.

Because no one wants to hold their bladder all day.

I certainly don’t!

I was in the Boy Scouts when I was a kid. I liked the Boy Scouts, we did a lot of fun things, I learned a lot.

But, I have a secret to tell:

I was also in the Girl Scouts!

Granted, I wasn’t actually a Girl Scout, but I had to go to Girl Scouts because my Mom was a Girl Scout Leader.

My Mom, and her best friend were both Girl Scout leaders. Her best friend had 3 Daughters, and I have one Sister. All 4 girls were best friends!

So all through my childhood it was those 4 girls, my Mom, her Best Friend, and ME!

I had to tag along.

I didn’t have a choice.

I was too young to be by myself, and Dad worked day shift, so I was the lucky boy, the ONLY boy who had to go to Girl Scouts.

I HATED IT!

Hated being around all those girls. They had cooties! lol

My Sister and her friends always made fun of me. I got picked on because I was younger and a nerd.

I even looked like a nerd because of the clothes Mom would buy for us (Garage Sale Junk)… GOD AWFUL TURTLENECKS!

I was super skinny and had large buck teeth. And, as my Sister would say “Huge Dumbo Ears!“

I can still hear them laughing now.

So of course, when I got in trouble, or the girls would purposefully get me in trouble “He’s hitting me!“, I would get yelled at and spanked (back when spankings was a normal thing) in front of all the troop (laughing their heads off).

I was constantly humiliated!

I never felt like a man. Always felt like the punch line of a joke.

Boy Scouts was cool. I felt like I fit in. We made fire, collected rocks, won awards, went hiking, canoeing… Boy stuff.

But in Girl Scouts, they sang, cooked, made crafty dumb things with string and paint. BLAH!

I really disliked Girl Scouts (except for the Cookies).

The only time that I was finally free from all of this mess was when my Mom left us and got a divorce. I no longer had to do girl things.

YEE-HAW!

I also never went to Boy Scouts again either (BOO). I was 13 and now had to do all the chores, house cleaning (no girly stuff eh?), as well as tend to all the farm and animals. I had to do it all.

I sometimes think my current social condition was caused by all those taunting little girls.

I was never good enough, tall enough, old enough… I was always the puny runt who got picked on and scolded.

The Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts are a thing of the past. But somethings linger on… There’s only so much you can take before it sinks in and affects your whole life.

Is this what started my Paruresis?

I may never know!

I have a hard enough time peeing as it is.

Sometimes it takes me a while to go, even if I’m by myself.

So when there’s more pressure added to my already heightened anxiety, it makes it much, much harder to go.

Pressure like:

• You have to leave out the door in 2 minutes
• You’re late getting to the movies
• Your friend is in the restroom waiting for you
• There’s a line out the bathroom door and everyone wants you to hurry

Pressure is constant. It’s everywhere!

Pressure is LIFE!

• You only have 1 minute in between classes
• Someone’s knocking on the door
• You know you won’t be in another bathroom for a very long time
• You’re the only one at work and you have to pee before another customer enters the store

It’s endless what situations we run into that apply more pressure to an already delicate condition.

Every little noise, every footstep, voices outside the door… They all add up! They create a massive barricade that you can’t tear down.

The more pressure you feel, the less likely you are to pee.

When I walk into a bathroom and see Janitors moping up and cleaning the sinks and stalls, I know this is a huge obstacle for me to overcome. It quadruples the pressure and makes me want to give up before I even try.

How do I pee when they are directly outside the stall, watching, waiting, listening… Knowing I went in there, Knowing I’m peeing, and yet I’m just standing there quiet as a mouse.

AWKWARD!

As the pressure mounts, my heart beat races. It thumps loudly in my chest. I swear it’s audible!

It’s the sound of pure panic!

I always think that people are judging me. Their glances and scrutiny pushes me to extremes. It keeps my bladder locked up for good.

Why do these things cause so much pressure?

It’s just silly things that shouldn’t bear any meaning. But yet…

• You only have 30 seconds to pee
• The Plane is rocking
• The only place to pee is on the side of the road, out in the open
• The only stall available is in between two other occupied stalls
• You waited too long to pee and now, once you start, you can’t stop. You’ll be peeing all night long!

Too many things pile up, one on top of another.

You’d think that there would be an easy way to relieve stress: Meditation, Yoga, Exercise, Sleep, Medication…

All things I don’t do!

Stress keeps me up all night long. I have insomnia all the time! (about every other night).

I’m restless and worry a lot. It makes me have to get up to pee every hour or so! It’s so annoying!

This is the thing that I find most interesting…

When I stress and worry at night, I pee constantly!

But when I stress and worry in public bathrooms, I CAN’T pee at all!

What’s up with that?

It just makes me think that I’m really messed up inside. Nothing about my Paruresis makes sense.

• Intermission is almost over, it’s pee now or never!
• The only bathroom on the busy turnpike is coming up… Do you try?
• You’re expecting your boss to call you. Do you try to quickly use the bathroom before hand?
• You enter a restroom with nothing but urinals (or a Trough). What do you do?

Pressure! Pressure! Pressure!

Time’s a ticking! Your bladder is singing. You have to pee and you have to pee NOW!

Sink or swim?

Tell me, how do you deal with the stress?

I’ve been looking for a cure for Paruresis (Shy Bladder) for almost 2 years now.

Sadly, I haven’t been looking very hard.

You see, I stopped writing posts for a long time. I gave up doing breath hold practice. I never asked my friend Mike to be my Pee Buddy. I just never took the steps needed to find a cure.

I procrastinated, put it off, and quiet frankly failed!

My road to a cure ended too soon.

I was going gung-ho and wanted to dominate my fears and tackle this problem from the core, the root of my pain.

Maybe I pushed myself too hard? I tried too fast. And when I didn’t see any immediate results (like Dieting), I surrendered and went back to my old ways.

Back into my shell…

Where I kept Paruresis locked up. Where I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t read about it. I let it fester and become a worse disaster.

It’s taken me a while to begin again. Take the steps needed to move forward towards success. I’ve got a level head once more and am focusing on my blog here. I’m making myself think about my condition. Read about it again. Stir up the old feelings I once had about finding a cure.

I really need to take the next step!

I need to start bathroom exposure practice. I need to ask Mike to help me cope with this battle and to be the support and Pee Buddy that I need.

So How do I do that?

How do I just go up to him and say “Can you help me get over my fear of peeing?“

Is that really that simple?

NO! It’s not simple in the least!

Peeing is my ultimate crutch. It overwhelms my thoughts, my actions, my life. To just lay it all out on the line is horrifying!

And what’s funnier is the fact that I know this. I know this is scary and hard and once I do it, it will get easier.

I have to take that leap and just do it!

Do I begin by drinking tons of water that day?

What if he’s busy?

What if he doesn’t want to do it? What if he says “Later“???

Or what if he makes fun of me? Pushes the door open? Laughs?

It makes my heart race thinking about it!

You can’t get any more humble than when you express your true fears, all of them, to your best friend and then ask him to do something awkward and uncomfortable.

Just stand there, don’t do anything. Don’t say anything. Don’t make a sound. Try not to listen…

UGH!!!

Is there an easier way to start? How does one plan all of this?

Is it better for me to skip my best friend and find someone else who is Pee Shy like me? That way we can practice together and not feel odd or embarrassed?

Someone that I could openly talk to and admit my deepest fears?

Someone just like me!

It sounds better even just saying it. Maybe that’s been my problem all along? Maybe I’ve had the wrong person in mind?

So how do you find another Paruretic in your area?

The Forums?

If I remember correctly, there are forums (see links on right) that I can post to that will help me connect with someone else, like me, who is looking for a Pee Buddy as well.

I think that’s the ticket here.

I think that’s where I’ll find the help I’m looking for.

I’ll do some more research and see what I find (I’ll let you know).

There’s got to be someone close by that’s looking to cure their Shy Bladder Syndrome!

I just need to find them!

What scares a Paruretic? Many things!

People that are scared of peeing in public are haunted by many fears. Things that the normal person wouldn’t even dream of.

And when I’m talking about “scare“, I don’t actually mean “jump” as in a Horror Movie. I mean Up the Anxiety, Up the Barricade Wall, Up the Level of Difficulty of Peeing in a Public Bathroom.

Some people have extreme cases of Paruresis (The medical terminology for Shy Bladder), while others it barely affects.

Me, I find myself somewhere in the middle. I can use the public bathrooms, but it can take a while, it can be difficult, and often, I give up, fail, and can’t go at all.

It all depends on the conditions of the bathroom, and of course how badly I have to go.

It seems the more urgent the calling, the harder it is to get a stream started.

A lot of things regarding bathrooms and my fear of peeing play tricks on me.

I thought I’d share them with you!

Granted, I believe I have a mild case of Paruresis, even though at times it does cripple me. But it’s a funny thing. Because every time and every day is different. And Paruresis also varies from person to person.

So while I can’t speak for everyone, I can speak for myself.

These are MY Fears!

These are the things that I find most difficult about peeing in men’s bathrooms. I put them in no real order, they are what they are.

See if you can relate…

Silence

I hate a quiet bathroom. It sends chills down my spine. When every noise is accentuated: the shuffle of feet, the grunt of a throat, the jingle of a belt, you can hear it all. It becomes magnified.

Plus I know that they can hear me as well. They know I’m trying to pee. They’re listening and hearing that I can’t pee. I’m just standing there doing nothing! I’m being as silent as the surroundings. Frozen in fear!

I hate quiet bathrooms. Play loud music or something. If there are a lot of toilets flushing, sinks running, dryers drying, it helps. All that sound can muffle anything I’m trying to do.

Because in the long run, no one wants to hear that!

Walking in with Others

I generally wait until I see that no one is heading for the bathrooms. That’s when I make my move. But, as luck would have it, that’s NOT how life is. Often someone will walk in with me, or directly behind me as I enter the restroom.

This really makes me nervous because I’m on display. They’re watching to see what I do, so they know what they can do. And, of course, they see me hesitate. I can feel their eyes on the back of my head. I’m looking for the stalls, I’m like a deer in headlights…

It’s a heightened moment of fear that makes my head scream and makes me want to turn and run like a banshee…

Smelly, Gross Bathrooms!

If the bathroom is gross and smelly, it can keep me from peeing.

You wouldn’t think that a bathroom that smells like a bathroom should, would keep you from going! ha!

But smells and sights affect your senses and can block you up like a dam.

Especially if the toilet is plugged (Eye-Candy), or if someone is taking a dump in the next stall… and I can hear every awful sound of it.

Let’s face it, there are plenty of nasty, dirty bathrooms across America. I’m not the only one who hates these germ infested places! Don’t touch that door knob!

And to someone scared of bathrooms and peeing as it is, it just adds to the difficulty. It’s not going to happen!

Clean bathrooms are better for Paruretics. They are soothing and have a calming effect.

Gross bathrooms are the opposite. You don’t want to look at anything, touch anything, all you want to do is void, leave, and leave quickly.

Most of the Stalls are Occupied!

I hate this with a passion!

When I have to enter a stall next to someone else that’s already using a stall, it makes me very frightened.

I don’t want to disturb their task. And I know that they hate it as much as I do.

No one wants to be in someone else’s comfort zone!

They can see my feet enter and face the toilet. They know that I’m peeing… Or should I say, trying to pee. They see me quietly standing there and not making any noise.

I don’t even like moving my feet because I don’t want it to draw their eyes.

I wonder what they are thinking?

How long am I going to stand here and not pee? What am I doing?

Minutes pass…

That’s an awfully long time to stand there and not do anything. He’s silent. I’m silent. He’s thinking I’m a freak or a perv…

GO! JUST GO!

And all the time, he’s waiting and watching my feet. He wants me to finish so he can.

Who is going to make the first move? Will he finally finish and leave? Or will he wait it out?

I generally try to pick a stall with no one next to me, but often, that doesn’t last long. Someone always enters and stops me from peeing.

I don’t want to be that close to people while urinating.

Don’t they know that?

A line out the Door

This makes me tremble just thinking about it.

Having to wait in a long line out the bathroom door is terrifying!

One after another, guys shuffle their way into the cramped bathroom. They stand in line and wait for the next urinal to free up.

Everyone is Watching. Waiting. Judging. They’re all thinking “HURRY UP! Pee Faster!“

And me… I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know if there are any stalls in the bathroom. I don’t know if there are any empty ones. Chances are good: NO! Because this is the time that guys will pee in the stalls if they become free just like they would a urinal. When you gotta go, you go!

I stand and wonder if the stalls are plugged up. I shift my feet. I look around. I play with my hang nail… What am I going to see or do? Will the stalls be out of order? Will they be occupied for another ten minutes… Where will I hide? Will a stall become available the second it’s my turn?

It’s Pure Panic Mode!

I’ll have to frantically find or wait for an empty stall with tons of guys watching me. I’d rather die!

This is about the highest my fear level takes me. You can’t get much worse.

And, the odds are, even if I did find an open stall, after all this anxiety, I’d probably never be able to go anyway. Guys are waiting.

It’s useless!

Everyone knows I’m trying to pee. I’m in there too long.

What’s wrong with me? I can’t go!

Sigh!

Peeing in Urinals

If I step foot into a bathroom, and I see it has NO Stalls (or No Vacant Stalls), I turn around and leave.

I don’t care how badly I have to go. I could be on the verge of busting and it wouldn’t matter. I quickly rotate around and I’m back out that door!

Peeing at a urinal is not an option. It would never happen. Never ever!

That is, right now in my current state of Paruresis!

Urinals are something I can’t do. I’ve never been able to use them. I could never even see myself using one.

It’s the ultimate fear for me. I simply can’t imagine it!

So there you go…

These are the things that scare me the most!

But you know what? It’s all a lie isn’t it?

It’s not the bathrooms, toilets, or guys that I’m scared of. It’s the fear of NOT being able to go that does it. Just thinking that I can’t go is my greatest fear.

Thinking I’ll fail, makes me fail. It keeps me from peeing.

Everything else just adds fuel to the fire.

How can one be scared of NOT being able to pee? Doesn’t make much sense.

I wonder how it all began. It’s a mystery to me that I may never fully understand.

I should get hypnotized to find out what caused my condition.

What trauma keeps me from peeing in public?

I don’t know…

And not knowing, scares me as well! :)

This trick works, right?

When you feel the urge to pee, try to think about something else.

Distract the brain!

What ever you do, don’t think about the bathrooms and you won’t have to pee.

Mind Over Matter!

Thinking about the Toilets, the Urinals, Relieving yourself, Peeing… only does one thing: It makes you WANT to pee more!

You have to NOT think about urinating and try to focus your mind on something else. Because if you can change your thoughts, the feeling will pass.

It’s true!

Eventually, the desire will fade, as long as you don’t think about it.

Don’t think about the Toilets Flushing, or the Sound of Running Water. Don’t think about your Screaming Bladder or the Consistent Nagging Urge…

Concentrate on the conversation you’re having instead. The People you’re with. The Company, the Music, the Food, the Surroundings, everything but THAT!

Because thinking about that makes everything worse. You have to Focus Focus Focus.

Say to yourself “I do not need to go! I’m fine. I can sit here all night if I have to.” I can even drink more, because I’m keeping my brain occupied and not thinking about the bathrooms!

It’s all a trick we play.

But many times it DOES work!

I’ve been there. I’ve been trapped on a plane before dying to go, and somehow, by steering my brain away from the disaster happening below, my bladder calms down. It holds it peace for another couple of hours until I finally can go.

The mind is a pretty amazing tool

After all, it is your mind that’s keeping you from peeing in the first place. A little side step can fool it. Think about the Weather (Let’s hope it isn’t Raining) instead, the Weekend, the Vacation coming up… Distract the Brain!

It’s like a Jedi Mind Trick “These are not the bathrooms you’re looking for!“

So think about something else. The Sunset. The Funny Joke. The Band Playing… “We should do this again next week!” :)

As long as you don’t think about peeing!

“There are no screaming bladders here!“

A really odd thing happened to me today.

I’m at Office Max looking at Desk Chairs and I feel the urge to pee.

Now I don’t know of many “SAFE” bathrooms in my area, but per my last visit (read all about it here), I do know that this particular Office Max DOES have a single user bathroom with a lock on the door.

It’s a bathroom made for a Paruretic.

I had no problems peeing in there the last time.

What a relief!

But today was different. Even though I know it’s a safe bathroom, and I would be able to pee in the narrow room with both a toilet and a urinal, I still didn’t go.

WHY?

Because it’s a busy Saturday and there were people everywhere.

They would be sure to notice if I walked across the store and made my way to the bathroom.

Plus, more than likely, the bathroom would be in use, or there may even be a line of people waiting to use it.

Just thinking about this was enough for my anxiety to tell my legs “Don’t Move! Don’t Head Towards The Bathroom! Stay Right Where You Are!“

And that I did!

Crazy, isn’t it?

I knew 100% that it was safe, but yet my fear of peeing in public still kept me from peeing in public.

I don’t get it!

I didn’t even look towards the bathroom to confirm my suspicions. I just made the conscious decision to hold it until I got home.

I even cancelled one of my other errands just because I needed to pee and didn’t want to hold it any longer than needed.

I could have solved the problem right there, right then, but NOOOO! I put it off. I finished shopping, left, and went straight home.

What a Moron I am!

So what is it with me?

How come I had such a hard time going in a safe bathroom? You’d think that would be easy. A no-brainer! But sadly, I wouldn’t even allow myself to try.

How am I ever going to recover and get over my fear of bathrooms if it’s so difficult to even walk in one.

This is out of control!

What do I have to do?

Force myself to enter them? Make myself on every visit venture into the public bathrooms (if I have to go or not), just to get used to the idea of checking them out and becoming comfortable with them?

I felt disappointed with myself for not being able to go. Not even contemplating it. It was just “NO” and that’s that!

I’d rather drive home and end my day, than to try to pee in a safe bathroom in town.

I’m a mess!

I need to take a stand and push myself if I’m ever going to get anywhere with my stage fright.

Because days like this is insane.

It’s got to end!

One way or the other…

If there’s one thing that scares the crap out of me, it’s prison.

Or, should I say, it’s using the bathroom in prison.

I could never do it.

I don’t see how anyone uses them, let alone people with shy bladder.

The toilet is basically just an open seat in the room. No partitions. No walls. No privacy in the least. Just an open toilet on the cold cement floor. That’s a nightmare!

You have to use it where anyone walking by could see you, hear you, taunt you.

People across the hall could watch you. Your bunkmate could be 2 feet away when you feel like exploding… They would hear your breathing, grunts, farts…

You don’t even have a second to yourself.

How do they do it?

I’m sure there are tons of guys in prison who are pee shy. How vulnerable they must feel.

I often think of how I’d deal with my condition if I were to ever get locked up (even for just a night).

I’d probably die! I don’t think I’d ever have enough balls or courage to go in front of complete strangers (let alone violent ones) who are looking at you, listening, talking, staring, judging…

It blows my mind to even think about.

I seriously would love to know how one survives this ordeal.

What about the guys who get locked up for a weekend drunken bar fight?

There’s got to be a shy bladder somewhere.

Do they wait until their mate leaves for lunch? The phone?

Do they hold it until the middle of the night and hope they don’t wake anyone?

Do they cover themselves with a blanket so they aren’t so exposed?

How do they react when their cellmate uses the toilet? It’s got to be horrifying!

I don’t get it!

It sounds like the most awkward thing ever.

Do they end up getting cured just because they’re forced to? Especially those in for life… Or does it just kill them? (Which ever comes first?)

If you have no choice but to go, will the bladder finally go?

Could something like this cause years of anxiety to slip away, or does it just make it worse?

Do people with shy bladder get special treatment in there?

I’ve never been to jail or prison, and I’d like to think that I would never be either.

Because it’s not the prison, nor the criminals, not the feeling of despair, loneliness or helplessness that frightens me. It’s the toilets!

My Paruresis already makes me feel like a prisoner. Shackled and locked up. Doing time with my greatest fears.

To be under more pressure, more scrutiny, and less privacy would just send me over the top.

A place worse than any jail cell.

It’s mental HELL!

So here’s hoping that I stay as far away from the courts as possible. But I know with some people, that just didn’t happen.

For whatever reason may be, some Pee Shy Guys (and Gals) are, or have been, locked up and know what I’m talking about.

So let’s clarify!

Speak up in the comments below. Tell your story.

Talk about Paruresis in Prison!

Did Paruresis Vanish?

Or did it lock you up even more?

I’d love to hear from you.

Confess, will you?

When I enter a restroom, the first thing I do is head towards the stalls.

If the stalls are full, or there are no stalls, I exit the bathroom immediately. I don’t stick around and wait. I’m outta there…

I hate going in bathrooms. Hate trying to pee. Hate looking for an empty stall.

I dislike it even more when I have to enter a stall that someone else just leaves. I don’t like standing there in someone else’s stink! Because, let’s face it, that’s usually what a stall is for!

Not for wimps who can’t pee like a man.

Stall Doors drive me crazy!

There’s usually no good way to totally tell if they’re occupied or not.

Sure, in a perfect world, all the stall doors would stay open when they’re empty, but that’s not the case.

It would make entering a partition easy…

But stall doors are a bitch.

I head towards them trying to avoid any eye contact with other guys, trying to enter a stall as invisible as I can, and trying to see which stall is empty at the same time.

You can’t tell!

Some stall doors close even when no one is in them, making them appear full.

Some doors stick and even if you carefully push on them, they still don’t open. Sometimes you really have to SHOVE them just to open them.

There’s no great way to do this properly. Why can’t they make a stall door latch that shows “Vacant” or “Available“? How hard would that be?

Instead, I’m quietly trying to push on doors, look under stalls, and peek through cracks all while being unseen and unheard.

It’s very nerve wracking.

Plus, some guys do go into pee if the urinals are full and some guys don’t latch the door behind them. You push on the door and embarrassingly see that someone’s in there!

Not Cool!

What’s a Paruretic to do?

All I want to do is to locate a safe stall, preferably in the corner, where the adjacent stall is empty as well (crossing my fingers).

I want to pee quickly and quietly and get the hell out. Am I asking too much?

Having Shy Bladder is difficult as it is. But having better stall doors, lower partitions, and music would help ease the anxiety.

I don’t want to be caught peeking at legs under the doors. I don’t want to be looking through cracks in the partitions to see if it’s occupied (and see someone peeking back). That just makes my brain scream!

It doesn’t help the situation when the bathroom is busy and people are watching your every move.

My fear is extreme!

And even when I do find an empty stall, after all that commotion, my heart is racing and may never calm down enough to urinate.

A simple “Vacant” or “Occupied” could have solved that.

Don’t you think?